episode 21 season 2-my

The hosts of the Word of Mouth Podcast discuss the concept of ownership and the use of the word "my" in different contexts. They explore how people use "my" to show possession and responsibility, whether it's in relationships, material possessions, or even spiritual connections. They also discuss the importance of clear communication and understanding in relationships to avoid misunderstandings. Overall, they emphasize the significance of feeling a sense of belonging and being part of something. What up? Hey, welcome to Word of Mouth Podcast with Nate and Shelby. What it do? What it do? Shelby. Nate. How you been? Wonderful. Yes. Yes, you are. You are. Blessed and highly favored. Come on. All of the above. You are all of that. And so are you, sir. Thank you so much. It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, man. We just hanging out in the backyard. It's a beautiful day. I'm just hanging out with my wife. I'm hanging out with my son. I'm hanging out with my son. I'm hanging out with my son. And we just hanging out today. Podcasting, kicking it. It's been a while. It's been a minute. And we sorry. But we gonna catch up. I promise you we gonna catch up. And we gonna have a good time. So I want to jump into it today. I want to jump straight into it. Feet first, head first, and I go, how we rolling today? You know, I think we should jump in backwards with our hands in the air. I think we should jump in backwards. I think we should jump in backwards. I think we should jump in backwards. I think we should jump in backwards. I think we should jump in backwards. I think we should jump in backwards. I think we should jump in backwards. I think we should jump in backwards. I think we should jump in backwards. I think we should jump in backwards with our hands in the air. Swan dive? Swan dive. Yes, let's do it. That's pretty talented. Yeah. Let's do it. We'll swan dive in this thing. So listen, hope everyone is well. I was talking to Shelby, of course, off mic about taking ownership of certain things that we tend to take ownership of. And some of that stuff don't belong to us. So the word my, we're going to kind of focus on the word my today. Every time you say my. My tie. My. I've been on a cruise. That's what's on my mind. My, I didn't even think about that my. Yes, yes. So the word my, it's an adjective, and it describes something that you have ownership of or possession. If it's a person, they belong to you. Remember what I just said right there. When it's a person, they belong to you. Okay. We're going to touch on that later. But the word my. So I do have a scripture, and this is God speaking in the scripture. And the reason why I love this particular passage is because God wanted everyone to know at that time that we belong to him. And it's amazing how he put this passage. It's in Second Chronicles, chapter seven, and verse 14. After he say who we belong to, then he started giving a formula of how we ought to be to receive what we need to receive from him. So in Second Chronicles, chapter seven, Shelby, if you can find verse 14. I didn't know you wanted me to look for it. Yeah, if you can. I can read it. Second Chronicles. Chapter seven. Look at verse 14. It's in pretty colors. Oh, my God. If my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my faith and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land. Oh, OK. We need that. That part. Bring it. Bring it. Lord, my goodness. The first part of that sentence, he said, if my people, my people. That means he took ownership at that moment. He said, hey, it's some body that's not mine. And it's not saying that God is a respected person. He's saying a lot of people don't want to hear his voice. It's a choice. What? Right. It is a choice. We will. And there is free will to it. So when he said, my people who are called by my name, so humble themselves and pray and seek and turn. Uh huh. The formula is, you know, pray first, humble, pray, seek and turn. That's your formula. And then I'll do something for you. The part I want to touch on is the my people. I thank God that he chose me at that moment and made me his. Do it feel good to you when someone say to you that you're theirs? I'm going to wait. It depends on who's saying it. If God is saying it first. Yes. It's a good feeling when people say that, that you're theirs. Even when you call someone, when you say my friend or that's my family over there or that's my child, you know, it feels good to know that someone wants to take responsibility and ownership of you. I hope a parent does. But it feels like you, you're part of something. You belong to something. Yes. And which is important. We all search for that. We all strive for that. Need it. Absolutely. Absolutely. And to get it from God. That's ultimate. And it's also the basis of. Yeah, I would rather him than some idiot person that don't really care nothing about me. It's another conversation for another day. Amen. But we we in it because we haven't been here in a minute. So we we ready. So the the part that I want to bring out more than anything is God said my people and there's a couple other scriptures where he talked about the my people, my people. That means they belong to him. So I want to touch on my. When you Shelby, when you say something is yours, not only do you take ownership, but some of that stuff you pay for. Yes. And I'm not talking about just naturally. There was a price. Yes. That was my that was my preacher. There was a price that you paid to say something is yours. When I hear Shelby say my anointing, there's a price that you have to pay for that anointing. And I know you paid a price for it. So that's why you can take that ownership because the anointing in which you resided is yours. Amen. Amen. Also, in practical things like when you say that's your car. About it. Right. That's that's those are your shoes. I mean, some some things we do say that we take ownership of. We pay for it. Right. So what about when you say my children? I have. Well, I don't have an issue with that, but my philosophy is that our children are Christ. They're God's children and they're on loan. He loans them to us. Yes. And so, like, I've been doing 31 days of prayer for your children and you literally read a little bit and then you write a prayer out for your kids. And every time I go to write my children, like, no, our children, because I'm praying to God, these are his children. He's merely given them. To me to take care of. For however long he deems. Their time is so OK. And then we pause like that, ask the question. So you said he gave them to you the gift. So when you receive a gift, is it yours? So it's yours. Yes. And he still have, I guess, what you call rights. Over our children. Yeah, I think so, because we all belong. Oh, there's a scripture coming. I can see it. Yeah. So, yeah, we have those rights. I think when my sister, when my sister passed away, my mom and I, we had to go to court to establish the ownership of the children. And my other sister had to adopt certain ones. And then because my mom couldn't get it, I had to adopt the oldest one until she graduated or turned 18. And the adoption states that once that paper is signed, they're yours. So I feel like even the redemption on the cross, Jesus paid that price for us to belong to God. And even with the loaning of children to us, yeah, he still have complete ownership of all of us, but he gave them to us. And so now when I say my child, I'm responsible, and also I'm accountable for my children. Right. Even when I don't want to be at times. Yes. I guess I want to ask you, how does that feel to know that even with your prayer and what you're in right now, your 30 days, how does it feel to know that those children are yours? Well, it's just like everybody else. I have good days, and we have not so good days with my kids. And they would say the same thing about me, I'm sure. Because they say my mom or my dad. Right. Good, good, good. But when I'm reminded that they're on loan to me, I see them more as a blessing, and the other stuff kind of falls away. Good, good. I like that. It takes away from you wanting to disown. You said that. I did not say that. Right. Even if you're listening, I did not say that. Amen. But that's true. It's true. God has to remind me at times. Man, I bless you with this. Oh, I'm sure that my children have moments where they're like, that ain't my mom. Right. Yikes. So let's step over into... Or I wish that wasn't my mom. I've heard that before. I've heard that from a child. Amen. So let's step over into the things that we obtain throughout the world. Let's say we get a house. In the material thing. Yeah. Let's say we get a house. Yeah. We get a car. We get clothes, shoes, whatever may have you. Those things, when they become yours, how do you feel? Well, you feel like you achieved something. Okay. Because you have ownership. Right. You feel possessive of it. Responsible for it. Accountable for it, like you said. Gotcha. Gotcha. All right. So we're talking about the my in a positive way. When you get things or you pay for things or you go through. I have a degree, so I say my degree because I had to go to school for that. Or my dog. You have animals, so when you talk about your animals, those are yours. Yes. Oh, my gosh. I've got to deviate right there. The way you said yes, okay. So Shelly has a horse. When you say my horse, right? Yeah. When you say my horse, like that's your horse, right? Even though he or she may get on your nerves or whatever may have you or do whatever they want to do, it's still your horse. Yep. Even on the days when there's a rodeo. Boom. All right. People talk about people. When you take ownership of certain terms, when it comes to people, whether you're in a relationship, friendship, situation, ship, whatever ship you want to call it, when you get on that ship with that person. I just got off a ship. I don't have to get on another ship now. If you've ever. When you get on that ship and they become your person, when does the word my come into play? Good Lord. Wow. Oh, I'm digging hard in there. You just going to set me out there. I'm digging. Well, I want to get your opinion about it because sometimes… Are we purely talking about a romantic relationship or what do you… Well, for the ladies out there, sometimes men think that women say my too quickly. Uh-huh. Okay. Yeah. So kind of explain to us as men. Because it's just me and you. Kind of explain to us as men. When do we see the signs where you all start thinking my before we're my? Oh, well, that's dependent on each individual woman. You think so? I'm going to answer that. You think so? Okay, well, I will say as a general consensus, we are more heart-related and more emotional than y'all men are. Preach. So, yes, we probably do lean into that quicker than y'all. And I… Because y'all are chickens. For the people in the back. Yes, true. True. I agree. And that's – I'm saying that in jest. Don't come at me for that, but… You are chickens. So, I mean, I don't – I can't – like there's no formula, I don't think. And, you know, it has to – it's got to be an individual thing because if you're at the stage in life we are, you've been hurt, you got walled up. Facts. You're working through shit, right? Facts. So, when you decide to say my is not going to be the same for everybody else because you've got to get over those hurdles and you've got to get past that jump. So, should we say my at all until we get past it? Well, what? Well, well, well. If you don't want to. Wait. Well, well, well. Oh, my God. Okay, so what – if – how are you going to refer to them? I mean, are you going to use their name only? Are you going to say my – you're going to say my something, my friend, my significant other, my boyfriend, my whatever, I mean, my lover. What do you – you've got to say my something or you're just going to call them by their name. Okay, so quick story. Okay. Because we're real. Okay. Because I was a psychology major, I'm very careful when I say my because my does establish ownership, and so if I am introducing someone or saying that this person is a part of me and I'm not sure if they're a part of me or yet we get there, I'm going to introduce them by their name. Right. Hi, this is so-and-so. Right, okay, so I just want a clarification on what you were – like I don't know how you avoid my unless you just say their name. Yeah, I try my best. I try my best to avoid the my. I'm going to pay attention to how you do things. Oh, my God. But I avoid the my because I don't want to give wrong signals. You know what I'm saying? Have you ever went to a church – we're going to come back to the people. Have you ever went to a church and said this is my church? Just visit them. No, I don't tend to do that. Boom. So if you have a church that you go to, you call that your church. Yes. Same thing. So with that person, until you get to that place, you're not really saying my. Okay, but if there's mixed signals and you're thinking you're at that place and they're thinking you ain't at that place, then how the hell are you going to know what you're doing? I mean, you might be on one page and they're on another. Communication. Yeah. I don't know. I guess I'm more careful in saying that because everything is taken literal these days. When I say my friend, even to people, when I say my friend, like I can't say you're my family if you're not my family. And I'm talking about like this is not – you don't have to be blood. I consider where we do ministry at, I consider some of those people as my family. No, they are. Yes. But not everybody. Oh, no. That is fo' sho'. And not everybody. So with that, should we be careful when we're talking about certain people, even in our lives, should we be careful? I don't see it that way. How do you see it? You just be like, that's my friend. That's my lover. That's my boo. No, I don't ever say boo. Give me a break. No, I'm not talking about relationships necessarily, but I don't know. I think we need to love more. So I'm just like who gives a – if it's misunderstood, who gives – like you can fix it after you get the misunderstanding out of the way. Like if they say, okay, what the hell is going on? Like what are we? Like you're saying this, and I'm not there, and you work that stuff out. But, I mean, I don't know. I tend to lead with love, so. Lead with love and take ownership? Well, I'm not owning a bunch of people, but I mean what – I mean what? Ownership of some kind of relation, yes, but I'm not saying like I'm in relations with everybody. Gotcha. Gotcha. There is a line, and I am a very loyal person, and I am only – I almost said that. Keep going. That one thing that I said that would offend everybody. I am a singular, mono – Yes. Yes. I got you. I don't – yes. So yeah. I got you. I got you. So would it be better if I used a term – these are my brothers and sisters in Christ. Well, we all are. I mean we're supposed to be. We are. Yeah. So that would be deeper. Whether you agree with them or not. So can I just introduce everybody that way, and they'd be okay with that? Well, it depends on where they're coming from. It depends on if they are your brothers. I mean, yes, technically we all are brothers and sisters in Christ because we all boil down to Adam and Eve. But. But. But, yes, if you are speaking from fellowshipping with them, that's a little different significance than just as a generality of these are my brothers and sisters in Christ. So basically don't blank it that way. Make sure that you add some individuality to it for certain people. Sure. Okay. You can add particulars. Okay. So let's just say I am your brother in Christ. Yeah. Okay. But am I a friend? Yep. So what makes me – what's the difference in the class? Well, you're both, but I would refer to you as my friend because you and I are pretty tight. All right. So. But that tight part. That designates you at a higher level than my brother in Christ to me. Okay. Got it. That puts more significance upon the relationship than just saying you're my brother in Christ. Is that what you're trying to get to? Yes. Okay. So you would have to kind of go through that middle part of the we're tight to get to we're tight part. I'm still in the brother and sister in Christ zone. All right. So a lot of people, they tend to want to jump into that other part or jump into that other part. I ain't really telling no means. Stop looking at me like that. But they want to jump into these different areas and not establish that first part first because I don't want to give mixed signals, nor do I want to think that you think that I'm thinking that you think that I'm thinking something different. Oh, my goodness. That I'm thinking something different. So if I say – Why are you afraid of that? Not afraid. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not afraid. What's the concern with being misunderstood then if you're not afraid? The concern would be the repercussions behind having to explain that you may have thought something different from a significant other standpoint. So if I'm not thinking the same thing – So really what we're all talking about, what we're talking about here is really relationship. We're not talking about just everybody. To a certain extent. Yes. Yes. Okay. So I just want to be straight. Right. So if – If you are significant to me, I'm going to let people know that because that's just who I am. Okay. And you may not be thinking that you're that significant, and I may not be thinking that you're that significant, but there will be a different designation to you. Like if I'm single, right, I go to places. If I get hit up on, I – and there's someone in my back pocket, then I'm going to say there's someone in my back pocket. Come on, back pocket? Yes. Okay. So if I was to go out – Which what I mean is because it's happened, and I have my phone in my back pocket, and so if that person – yeah. I guess. Talking to me. Anyway, yeah. Okay. No, because that's just who I am. I don't play around with shit. Sorry. No. I love it. Man, you're – And that's not saying that I'm thinking that we're a thing necessarily, but that's saying that I'm thinking I'm committed to whatever this is. So you're in my back pocket. Yeah, until I know that it's one thing or the other. Yeah. Yeah, because that's just how I roll. Boom. The rawest to ever say it. So I got it. Okay. So if I'm out, I meet someone. Maybe we exchange different numbers and stuff like that, and we're interacting by way of call, text, or whatever. Can I use the term my at that time? It depends on what you attach to the my. What's the next word? You're in my back pocket. Hey, I like that. I like the my back pocket. That sounds really good. I'm going to use that more than you ever know. That's good. My back pocket. But what's wrong with saying if someone approaches you and you're in discussions with someone else, what's wrong with saying that? My – I mean you don't have to even – it's not like boyfriend or whatever, but – Okay, so let me tell you a situation. So I had a person that I had just met. I mean just met. It had been maybe about a year ago, and I just said, hello, blah, blah, this and that. And they felt the need to say, hey, this is my person. And they went on social media like this is my boo or this is my significant other, and they found my picture. Well, look at you, Nate, just moving right along, do you believe that? They found my picture and then started exploiting that to its entirety, and I was like, wait, what? When did – do I know you? Oh, damn. So I was confused. That's what I'm saying. I guess I'm too careful. Okay, but there's crazies out there everywhere, and they're going to do something. You just got to let that go. That doesn't count for everybody. Don't put everybody in that box. Okay. That's the only way I can – I guess that's where my head is. You've got one crazy – Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And I don't want to do that. We're all going to run into wackadoos. I mean, they happen. Yes. And wackadoos, not a real – that's not a nice term necessarily, but – To me, I know what – We're all on different – there's different planes, and we're in different pieces and all that stuff. So stuff like that happens, but you can't let that – I want to know what did I give off to make her feel like I was that. Sometimes it ain't on you. It ain't on you all the time. Sometimes people just want to pick up things that you ain't even putting down. Right? Absolutely. And not just in relationships. That can be in anything. They want to make something out of nothing. There's another situation where I had a guy that comes to the ministry where we serve at, and he began to express to people in the city, people on his social media, that I am his mentor. And I've never had a conversation with this person, and he's like, hey, this is my mentor. And so because I deal with different people in the city, whether it's politicians or pastors or whatever, may have you, I was like, hey, you know this guy? No? Well, I think in certain instances we should take that maybe as a compliment because obviously he sees something in you that he wants to emulate. Now, there is mental illness out there. Okay. Mental illness that are not square. But I'm just weird. I tend to look at the best in everybody, and, yeah, it bites me in the butt a lot. But that's just who I am, and I can't be anything else. So I would just take that as, yeah, a little weird, but ultimately it's a compliment. Okay. Okay. I love Shelby. I do. I learn from you because, yeah, I take it as a compliment. I guess I'm just weird because I don't think I don't know. I have blinders on. At least let me know you. If I use the word my. Okay. So what's he getting out of that? I don't know. Well, there's got to be some payoff. Unless he got something that I have no clue. And it kind of stretched over into some stuff, and I'm like, well, yeah, I know this guy. Was he trying to ladder climb or something off of your name or what? I wish I can say that I knew exactly, but I don't know. I just take it as a compliment and go your way. Okay. Amen. I'm going to do it. Same thing with people that will go on social media and snatch my picture and then match it with theirs and then say, hey, this is my person. Who the hell you been messing with, man, because I don't have that problem. And look, desperation is real out here in these streets, and people would do anything. Okay. That's wrong. Yes. Absolutely. But the my kind of establishes more, and I feel like if I'm going to say my, can I just know you first? I would hope. I would hope. My friend, if you're my friend. Can I go back? Because before I said that I attached to everybody. No, I don't do that. We're talking about relationships now. I do not do that. Yes. Yes. Yes. She just said she do not. No. People hear me. She said she do not. I will attach to one. Thank you. And that is it. And that is all. Thank you very much. She said she do not. Okay. I've been invited to play in that pool. I don't play in that pool. Amen. I stay far away from that pool. Have no interest in that pool. There you go. She do not. My napple's upside down, right side up. Amen. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I ain't making no judgments. I'm just saying I don't play in that pool. To each his own. Do what you do. But she did come back and say, hey, she does not attach to everyone. Okay? Everybody got to. Okay. But early, yeah, because I thought earlier we're just talking about like in general, like friends, whatever. And I tend to lead with love. But, yes, if we're talking about significant relationships, no. Amen. No. But people would, you know, try to take that. Because if you find. But I think women, like you said, do that more than men do. I think it's kind of on a. Even playing field? Yeah. Really? Because beautiful women like yourself, men would do that just to. We need recognition. I don't think anybody's done that with me. What if you don't know? Like what if you find out. Oh, I don't see my picture ditched with someone else. Right. Like say, okay, because they may have, they may have a box. So let's just say that you find out that you are literally someone's Facebook wife. Wow. And you go into this page and you see your picture and their picture, like literally Photoshop. Don't they have a show on that? They would get up. They would get a big old. I'm quite sure. I'm quite sure. That ain't. We don't fly that way. Fished. Catfish. Catfish. Yeah. Okay. So people create this image in their head. You've actually had people do that? I don't know if I've been catfished, but I had someone to take my picture. And literally say, this is me. And someone that knew me said, hello, what's going on? I was like, what? What are you talking about? He was like, man, I didn't know you had. What are you talking about? And then he Shelby. And then I was like, what the crap? She leaks. Good looking. The conversation for another day. However, it, it, it, it, yeah, that's yeah. People do go round about like we went through this whole big old conversation. Just boil it down to this. Like if you'd have told me this is what we're talking about, then I would have started differently out the gate. I got a rewind and I wanted to kind of, you know, give it with sugar and stuff like that. But this is what happens, I guess, in this day and age. Did this just happen recently? A year ago. Oh, I was actually at, uh, I just started. Well, we serve it. I was going to say, I didn't know you back then. And, uh, I was, you could have just, you could have just set me loose. But that's why, even when you picked up on this later, I was very guarded. Very guarded. I mean, I'm still guarded now, but I'm very careful with how I interact, who I interact, what I interact, what I say, how I say it. Doesn't that get tiring? It does. And it feels like it's, it's, it's BS to me. Yeah. I don't want to be that way. I got to watch how I say certain things, who I even hug. That's another conversation. I know you want to touch it, but that's another conversation. I know. That's another conversation. Like, it's sad that we have to live like this. So you avoid that because you don't want someone projecting a relationship or something that's not there. Like, taking something, if I say, I'm a personable person, I'm definitely a gentleman. Yeah. And so if I do a… Gentlemanly thing. Yes. You would take that, or not you, but someone can take that as a flirt. Someone can take that as a gesture. Yeah, because it's kind of dinosaur nowadays. People don't do that anymore. Men generally don't. And I'm not blaming men. No, you're right. It's society's problem. You're right. And I think it's bad because these younger men, we have to begin to teach these younger men because they're just losing it. You don't have to tell me because we just had a conversation about my own family members. Anyways. So if a female takes that the wrong way, they'll think that that's a way that I'm saying, hey, I want to get with you. If I open the door for you, if I compliment you, you're where? Okay, so we've talked about this. We have. We had a podcast about just taking compliments at face value and blah, blah, blah, and we have to allow that because otherwise we're just spreading the divide even further. Right. So is that concern coming from a legality stance, that you don't want to be blamed for something that legally you could be held responsible for, or is it just coming from you don't want any misunderstanding? It's definitely not legality. And the only way when I hear legality, that means like sexual harassment to me. Right, yeah, and that's where I'm going. I'm very careful on how I touch anybody because not about the sexual part but about what they give off. Oh, yeah, and they can tweak anything. They can twist anything. I think more for me it's what you – I'm careful with how you take it, how you take it, not from a legal. But is that concern coming because you don't want it to reflect on you or because you don't want that person to be hurt? I don't know if I understood that. So if you don't want that person to be hurt. I don't get it. Okay, so if I'm walking around and I'm saying I'm Nate's girlfriend, we're not together. So does your concern come out of you don't want to eventually have to tell me we're not a thing and hurt me, or does it come from you not wanting other people to think I'm with you? Actually, neither one. Okay. I just wanted to be a general, you're a beautiful person. Okay, so you're talking about compliments. Or even gestures. Like it can be anything. If I'm single and if I'm going to be with someone, I'm going to be with someone. Right. Period. And I feel the same way. So if I'm not, then don't take it as though I am just because I'm nice or just because I'm generous. But, you know, I think we have to just get past that because if we don't get past it, then the kindness just is going to evaporate. Period. And the percentage of people who are going to take it the wrong way is much smaller than the percentage of people who aren't. But how do we know that? We don't know that. But are you going to live your life? See, I just can't. I've gotten to the point where I can't live my life different than what I am. And it kind of sucks. It does. It does. Because I am a pretty lenient, very loyal kind of person. And I sometimes put up with way more than I should. Right. But that's just who I am. And I can't change who I am. Right. And as long as I am okay with that and I'm being true to myself, then what difference does it make how they take it or what they do with it? Because people are going to do stupid stuff all the time. Like there's people going to run with stuff all the time, everywhere. But I think the percentage of those people is much smaller than the percentage that are down to earth, normal, okay, that's just him being kind. I get it. I think that's what's gone kind of wrong with society is that we've gotten so afraid of, oh, I'm going to be perceived as such and such. I can't do that. So then we don't do the nice thing because we don't want to be perceived as something more than we are or whatever. We don't want the relationship to get twisted. And so we've all become hands off and you just go over there and stay in your side of the street. And I'll be honest to say that that affected me. Even to this day I can say that it affects me now, not to say that it will change the fact of who I am and how I will be toward people, but I am more cautious. Cognizant of it. And I think that's just the status of men in general because we've put you in that place legally. Facts. Yeah. Yeah. That's for any man. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. You're absolutely right. And there's repercussions to that, and that is that men are going to withdraw and they're not going to do those things because they don't want it to be misrepresented and they don't want to have to pay for something that was not part of their intention from the get-go. So how do you – I'm going to say why. How do you meet a person? If I walk into a Weigel's and there's a beautiful woman standing at the counter and I say, hey, how are you today? And, oh, I'm fine. And I see her getting something, can I pay for your coffee today? And whatever you're getting, can I pay for it? Do it. Just do it. Be Nike. Just do it. Got it. So when I do it, why are we married tomorrow? Because there's such a lack of kindness in the world that we assume that for someone to do something kind means more than what it really does. We've created this mess. It's just like raising kids that are entitled because we're Gen X and we have to do everything on our own. So we don't want our kids to have to do everything on their own, so we've made them into a bunch of – That part. Don't say it. That. Entitled children. Yeah, yeah. I got you. I mean this is all – it's all stuff we've created and not necessarily us, the legal system, people who are on the dole to make money. And there is a very necessary place for lawyers and all that stuff. And there is poor behavior on both sides of the fence that is truly poor behavior. And it needs to be rectified. I agree. But I think for the general population, we cannot let that deter us from being what we're supposed to be, which is kind to one another. I agree. If we delete the word kind or kindness, the Bible talks about how we're kindred spirits. That word kind or kind, K-I-N, makes up the word kind or kindness. And if I can't be that with someone else or even have a kindred spirit, then what am I doing? Are we eliminating Christ? That's what we're supposed to do. What we're trying to do is eliminate. So it doesn't say that you're not going to face persecution for doing it. The word says you're going to face persecution. You're right. You're absolutely right. And, I mean, the promises are the promises, whether they're good, bad, or indifferent. I mean I was having a conversation with God about that this morning. So we have to live as we're told to live. We have to live as the word tells us to and trust that God is going to cover us in living that way. Wow. I won't let it change who I am as a person. It will never dilute my character. However, I have been very cautious. Like if I hug a certain way, I'm cautious of how that person, especially if it's opposite sex, how they react to a hug. I'm very cautious. I'm not cautious about doing gentleman things because, man, I don't care what you think if I open the door for you. I'm going to. Or if I pump your gas or whatever may happen. That stuff I'm going to do regardless, and I can care less what you think. Just don't go on my social media and say I'm your husband because I'll open the door for you. That's kind of crazy. But I get what you're saying. I really am very cautious. And I don't think that caution is a bad thing because we have to have discernment, and that's what we need to focus on is the spiritual discernment of things. I don't know if it's discernment for me. I think I'm just cautious. I'm just like, uh-oh, how are they going to take that? I want to say that we have a family business, and my dad started the business on his own in California a long time ago. And back in that day, my dad called women honey. Let's talk about it, yeah. Yeah, and sweetheart, stuff like that. He meant nothing by it. Those were just terms. And they were kind of terms of endearment, but it was terms of friendship or camaraderie or something like that. California has completely made that into a harassment situation. You can't call anybody anything other than their name, basically. And I have to say growing up in that, that really – it sucked that that was taken away. And especially when my dad was older, he didn't understand that you couldn't keep saying that. You couldn't keep calling a woman honey. He meant nothing by it. That was the generation that they lived in. And coming out here when I came out here, that was still around, and it still is. It still is here. I think it's wonderful. I honestly do. Because it's kind of a term of endearment, and it shows that you have some kind of connection with that person, even if you're just a cashier at a store. But it brings the humanness back into it. And out in California, they've done away with all of that. So there is no endearment. There's not a lot of connection. And, yeah, there were people that did wrong things. I mean I can tell you when I was six or seven years old, there was someone who worked with us, and he was not a good guy. And there are people like that. And he actually followed me to my grade school. But, you know, you can't allow those people to ruin it for the populace who are not like that. Right. I agree. I agree. I definitely understand the concept of how the terms of endearment was completely different based upon our generation and where we live. Yeah. Chicago, Midwest, period. If you made a comment of a person was a sweetie or a honey or a baby, oh, my God. It was a fight. And it was a fight based upon domestic. Did she just call you blah, blah, blah, blah, blah? And it just probably went down after that. Really? Due to the fact that it just wasn't a term that was used. So when I moved to where we are and I walk into a Waffle House, and the first thing the waitress would say to me, hey, honey. Or darling. Right. I'm looking around like who is she talking to? She can't call me that. I love that. But then it became I felt like I was a part. I think it goes back to the my. I felt like, man, she likes me. And she acknowledged you. Yeah. Right. So I actually felt good about it, too, being here. I'm guessing that's what you felt when you were younger in Cali. We didn't get that growing up. So now that it's different here, I think that it has over time become perverted in so many ways, male and female, that it becomes perverted or creepish from a male perspective, creepish because, I mean, brah, everybody ain't got to be. But that also goes back to your judgment and your discernment and you should be able to tell. You get those vibes. You get that gut feeling if the person is not genuine or if they're after something or if they pose a danger to you. I think that you have to pay attention to your internal dialogue, your internal feeling for sure, because not everybody is on the up and up for sure. But I think in general we are. I would like to believe so. I would, too. And I think we should spread this kind of love or the Shelby love. We should spread this kind of love everywhere. However, 2023 is a long way. Well, I think that we have to understand as believers that we are told to love. That is our job. And so whether we like what the person does, whether we like how their lifestyle is, whether we, you know, like the way they look, even, it doesn't matter. We're supposed to love them. Yes. I agree. As Jesus did. Amen. Never once. And that means as Jesus did. That doesn't mean some perverse weird thing. That means as Jesus loved them. People in the back, if you didn't hear it. Yes. Keep your creeper vibes. Not as you do, but as Jesus. Not as your flesh wants to. Keep your creeper vibes. Well, but, yeah, I get it. I get it. I get it. So can I go on record to say that it's okay to keep my antennas up? How did we go from talking about my to now we're talking about this? How did that? It still kind of coincides with the my. You know, I can honestly say after this conversation that there's still my brothers and sisters in Christ or my buddies. You know, I'm even careful when I say my friends, because I got a lot of associates and I got a lot of buddies. You're looking at me. I'm serious. It's a difference for me. Buddies and associates are not friends. I taught a series years ago about the three Cs, and there are categories that you put people in. There are Conrads, there are constituents, and there are confidantes. And there are certain people in your life that fit in those three categories. Yes, those are categories. I'm very careful with not making a Conrad a confidante, because a confidante is who I trust. A constituent is someone I just kind of hang out with. A Conrad is we just going to fight together. We're going to go handle some business. Business. Some business. But a confidante, I feel comfortable. End all, be all. Yeah, I feel comfortable with talking to a person that I trust their heart and I can share with them, and they don't judge me. They'll still love me through it. They'll not only help, but we're together in this. Right. Everybody's not that. Right. But my question to you is going to be, so if you consider people confidantes, that's not like a romantic relationship isn't the only person that fits into that category in your life. Oh, God, no. Okay. No. Yeah. I was going to say it. So there have been spouses that are not confidantes. Hello. What? Not. No. I did not live that at all. Okay. God bless you. Yes. For me, I was married, and I didn't consider that person a confidante because I. That's okay. That hurts me. But, Chef, think about it. Think about it. But you're not the person you were then. Like, you've matured and your eyes have been opened to stuff that you. Well, look at it from a base. Like, look at it from a base. When you enter into how, without knowledge now, when I entered into relationships, for me, it was just a relationship. So you went from just a girlfriend to a relationship. And so that now, you know, outside of we just screwing, now we possibly can build a family together. Now we're going to get married. Now it's paper. Now it's law. Now it's this. Now it's that. We ain't built no trust. We screwing, and we ain't built no trust. Well, that's just lust. True. At the beginning. So now. That's why God doesn't want you fixated on that because it ain't going to get you anywhere. Period. Exactly. I learned this in 20s. So now that we have this paper now that says that we're this and that, I don't even know you. And so years in, I'm like, I'm sorry, who are you? Do I know you? I knew you in the bedroom. Oh, ow. It's real. So. But a lot of people do that. A lot of people do that. I was not, but a lot of people do that. And see, I don't like a confidant. Yeah, I get what you're saying. But a confidant to me is going to be the one guy, the one man. Do you make that person a confidant? Because I feel like that one person. That one man is going to know things about me that not any other person is going to know. So that person will fit all three to me. If I make that woman, she's a Conrad, she's a constituent. Yeah, OK. She's everything. Right. To me, that's covenant. Covenant says nothing else. OK, I agree with that. All right. Outside of that. And it's commitment. Yeah. I think I'll be a confidant. Outside of that, other people, yeah, we categories. It's like the tree. I think we talked about it. The tree have leaves, branches and have roots. Yeah. So we put it in categories. But that one guy, you said, he's the leaf, the branch, the root, the whole tree, man, he is that. Yeah. To me, to me. So when I say my, if I say my covenant, like you're my covenant. Well, covenant as a whole, whole different. Yeah. And, you know, and talking about that, I think you and I have talked about this before privately that, you know, the covenant relationship is so important. But yet it doesn't need to be ordained by society. Oh, how many minutes we got? That's so good. It can just be between the two of you and God. Like don't need to involve everybody else. Sure, let's go into it. Okay. Let's get it. So listen, word of mouth podcast with Nate and Shelby, we coming back with this. You ain't going to just run with it? You're going to actually stop? Yeah, because we got to do a commercial break. So we're going to come back with this. If we only had sponsors. Oh, my God. We're not through yet, Nate. All right, so we'll be back. Word of mouth podcast, Nate and Shelby. Bye, love you. Oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.