Royal Treatment

Hello and welcome back to WTF is my wife reading with Izzy and Joe. Hello. I've been on a little bit of a hiatus because I was in summer school and now it's done. That was a rough month. Sidebar. Have you ever seen Summer School the movie? Yes. I was going to say you didn't have Mark Summers but that's definitely not the guy. That guy's name? No. That's Double Dare. Mark Harmon? Mark Harmon. That sounds about right. And he's not who it is. Yes. That sounds about right. Yep. So what the fuck are we reading today? Okay. So this is book two in the Twisted series and it is my, oh, okay it's tied for my favorite book in the series because this one's Twisted Games and Twisted Games are my favorite too. You've already read Twisted Love. It's the one that we just did. Which one was that? The one we did with Carrie Andrew and me and Sean where he was a little rough. Which one was it? Sunshine. Oh yes. Sunshine. Okay. Yeah. Got it. That podcast was a blur for me. Okay. Okay. So this one is Twisted Games and it is Bridget Von Aschberg, I think that's how you say it, and her bodyguard Reese Larson. Now she is a princess soon to be queen and she was never meant to be queen. She always just wanted to stay a princess so she could live her life. Yeah. But then somebody abdicates the throne. Okay. And then so that kind of means she has to be the queen which kind of like fucks up her plans for what she wanted to do. And Reese is her bodyguard where they really were like friends first but he's caught his book and so is she so obviously they're going to end up. Doing it? Yeah. What do they look like? Do you know my answer for him? What does she look like? She is a curvy blonde and he is like a big six foot like five, 200 something pound brunette guy that was in the military and now he's like a personal bodyguard. He can't get anyone's ass. Are there any books that you read that aren't like over six foot, huge cock, and looks like Henry? I mean I've read some blondes. There's been blondes in the book. Did you like that though? Actually the one I'm currently reading, the guy's a blonde and she describes him as Chris Hemsworth and it's a good book. Okay. I just picture, you know, that's okay. You picture what? I'm going to stop right there. Okay. Right. So that's the whole story of the book? No. Okay. So he starts off like he's her bodyguard and like they become really, really close and then she finds out like she has to be queen and so everything's like fucked and so they have to move back to the country that she's got to go be the queen in because she was in the States like with her like friends enjoying her life and now like they've started this relationship but they can't be together because she has to marry someone that's royalty so all the people in the kingdom are trying to set up her match because she has to get married and so he has to like sit around and watch her go on like these like dates. Painful dates. Painful dates, you know, when like they actually had a relationship going on but she can't be with him. Isn't that like a movie? I feel like that's a movie. I'm sure. And then it found out like the guy's actually like a prince of something. Ugh. It's driving me crazy. Okay. But like he's madly in love with her. Is it? You know what? Don't tell me the end. I can't tell you. You're going to spoil it. I'll tell you the end when we're not on the... Okay. That works. I'll read it. I'll read it to you. Oh, you're going to read it. Okay. I'll go with that. So... You can read your dinosaurs having sex book. I don't... First of all, I'm not going to read it. Period. But at least that's semi-interesting. This is interesting. More than dinosaurs. At one point, and you're not going to read this part because you're going to read another scene, but at one point he makes her wear a vibrator all day and he has the controls on his phone and he's just like sit on him whenever he feels like it. And at the end of the day, does he bite his hands off? I don't think so. No. He rails her over for death. Okay. Okay. Or not. Okay. No. It's just like when they're about to do it. Okay. The day before. They've already had sex before. Okay. Okay. So this is her brother just got married and obviously she couldn't take him as her date to the wedding. She had to take this other guy that's like one of her suitors. Okay. So he had to sit on the sidelines of the dance floor all night and like watch her dance with this other guy while they're like together. And so he's a tad jealous. Okay. And so after she's been dancing for a little bit, he's like, you know, he sends for her and he's like, I need to talk to her about something. And he's like, he takes her into the library to go have a talk. But really he's taking her into the library because he's got a reminder who she belongs to. I feel like this is taking place in like a high school gym. No, no. It's in a castle. Picture like a giant-ass castle library. With like the little stairs, you know, that you walk up and you can like slide from left to right. That's my dream. I would love that. How would you do it on one of those? I don't want to do it on one. I just want to own that library with stairs. I don't want sex in the library. I mean, we can't. You don't want to ruin your books. I want the library with the little stairs. Yeah. What's that called? A ladder? Brought to you by Home Depot. What am I reading? Okay. So he has called her into the library and he's like, you danced with him twice. And she's like, well, he's my date. And he's like, not happy about it. But not like in a dickhead way, more of like this is like their banter and what they do. Because she has to always be in charge. And so when it's just her and him, she likes him to take over being in charge. So it's me and you. Yes. So like, yeah, she likes to submit to him and give him the authority when, you know, they're going to get down because she has to run everything the rest of the day. Okay. Yeah, yeah. So that is me and you. Yes. What am I starting at? That's a very, like. Yeah. He told her to take her dress off. And now you're reading the chapter that's her point of view. What color is this dress? I don't know. I don't even know. I don't know. I feel like it was emerald. If it's red and black, we're good. I think it was like emerald green, maybe. Red? I don't know. It's definitely not white, so. My dress pulled around my ankles. Trembles wracked me from anticipation or the slight chill in the air. I wasn't sure. Probably a mixture of both. What is his name? Graves? Look at yourself. You just have to Google it. Reese. Reese. I don't know why it's not spelled like that. It's spelled like Reese's pieces. Like this is. That looks like Reyes. R-H-Y-S, people. Reese was silhouetted against the moonlight, so I couldn't see his face, but I could feel the heat of his gaze as it raked over me. Dark and possessive like a lover's touch. Leaving a trail of delicious goosebumps in its wake. I just want to get to the. No, no, no. Don't give any direction. Oh, God. I wet my lips. Which lips? Dying to touch him, but knowing it was my best interest not to move until he told me so. How would you say this? It just says bra, period, off, period. Bra, off. Like he's just like commanding it. I do. Two seconds later, white lace joined green silk on the floor. So it was. It was a green dress. See, I got it right. With white lace. So like white undies? Yeah, white undies. Okay. I'm just setting the scene, that's all. I reached down to shimmy out of my underwear, but a low growl halted my movements. See, I don't like. He growls. He's a good growler. Yeah, but like he reached down to. Just the word shimmy. I never like. You heard him. You heard him shimmy? I thought that was him shimmying. She's shimmying off her underwear. He's dressing in a suit. Reese's eyes lingered on my breasts and my nipples, already so hard they could cut glass. Pebbled further. Keep your underwear, gloves, and heels on. Wait, she has gloves on? Yeah, like those, you know, like the ball gown gloves. She's not like a royal wedding. No. No, she's just in her underwear, gloves, and heels. You know you like that. We should try that. Get some gloves. I won't Amazon that. Thank you. Still in the, still in deceptively soft tone and crawl to me. There it is. So, she's calling him? Yeah, he makes her crawl to him. Okay. My breath gusted out in shock even as my core, even as my core spasmed at the odor. I'd never crawl for anyone in my life. Well, I was, well, I was all but naked, no less. Even if I was a future queen, it would be degrading, humiliating, depraved. Oh, she's going to do it. And I'd never been more turned on. There you go. Okay. I sink to my hands and knees, shivering again at the feel of a cool wood floor against my bare skin. And I begin to crawl. See, it's weird when I say it as a girl to the guy. I feel like you should be reading this part. Nope. It's, it's, people want to get into it. I don't know. My breath grew choppier. I was so wet, my thighs split against each other. Oh, my God. By the time I reached Reese, I was dripping all down my legs. That's another, that's another leaker. Squirters. Oh, my God. I stopped at his feet and looked up. I could see him more clearly now, but his expression remained unreadable except for the fire blazing in his eyes. He's pretty mad. He had to watch her dance with her dudes all night. Oh, here you go. This is your signature move. Good girl. Yeah. Okay. I should have read this slide further. I just got to. He fisted. He fisted my hair with one hand and used the other to unbuckle his pants. His cock sprung out. Boing. Thick and hard, swollen head, dripping with pre-cum. Ah, this guy's a fucking panty. No, he's not. Pre-cum. I'm like, come on, dude. God, I needed to taste him. I don't want to read this part. I feel like you should be reading this. No one had ever turned me on as much as he did. Every word, every touch, every glance. I wanted it all. I stared at him with pleading eyes. Reese hadn't finished nodding before I took him in my mouth. Savoring. These words are weird. Savoring his groins. That's weird. And the way he pulled my hair as I eagerly licked and sucked. Okay. What would your people say if they could see you now, princess? See, that's weird. I don't know if it's in this part, but eventually he tells her something. I'll just keep going. He grunted, pushing his cock deeper until it hit the back of my throat. I spluttered, my eyes watering from the sheer size of him. Crawling and choking him on your bodyguard's cock. I like to think of bodyguard as I think of Whitney Houston. No, no, no, no, no, no. I don't think of that. I moaned out unintelligible response. My hand drifted between my legs but didn't make contact before he yanked me up. Captured my mouth in a hard, punishing kiss. Wait, so like... He captured her mouth in a hard, punishing kiss. Kissing her hard. So that he like... He took a dick out of her mouth and he was making out with her. I feel like you should read some of this. It's kind of weird that I'm just reading this by myself. Uh, yeah. I can get you off too, Reese. Bet none of the lily- The lily-livered aristocrats? Is she British? It's like a country in Europe. Okay, she's British. Out there can fuck you the way you need. I didn't take the bait. It's more than that. It was the closest I'd come to voicing what was in my heart. He lowered his mouth to my ear and tangled one of his hands with mine. I want you to know something, princess, he said. His voice, a hoarse grasp against my skin. There's not much in the world I want to claim as mine. I've seen too much shit in my life to believe in forever. But you, you belong to me. And I don't give a fuck what the law or anyone else says. You are mine. Understand? Okay, so like the law says she can't marry him. That's why they can't be together. But she's like trying to find a workaround so they can be together. Reese exhaled a harsh, shuddering breath as he pulled back. I was about to protest before he roughly parted my thighs and yanked my underwear down. The ball of anticipation in my stomach. When you said ball, I thought you were going to say something else. What? What do you think I was going to say? I thought you were going to hit balls. Balls of his anticipation. Wait, this is even weirder. There's something else you should know. I was a man. Okay, so he dragged two fingers through my wetness. Wetness is better than folds. The last two books I've read have called it... Folds? They're folds. It's so gross. Don't call it folds. Through her roast beef sandwich. That is what I picture when they say folds. Gross. Just say pussy or vagina or... Honestly, wetness is better than folds. Anything is better than folds. Yeah. He dragged two fingers through my folds before shoving them in my mouth. It doesn't say, does it? No. Forcing me to taste my juices. And I'm... I don't like it when other people touch what's mine. Especially when it's from a date who's not me. Is that hinting at anything? Yes. I'd know and I'd be in trouble if I said that. But maybe you need a lesson to drive through the points. Reese rubbed his thumb over my swollen clit. Does it get swollen? Swollen, are we talking here? I mean, I've never really gone down there with a ruler. Should I do it next time? You can do it. You can do it. A three times bigger than usual. Before his palm landed where his thumb had landed. Nope, sorry. My body jerked and yelped in surprise and pain tore from my throat. Reese's fingers in my mouth muffled the sound. Wait, so what? So he still has fingers in his mouth? Apparently. His palm landed on my pussy again with a loud slap. Slapping her pussy? And again and again. Wait, what? He's like... With the palm? I've read this in a couple books, too. They, like, smack the pussy with their palm. Why with the palm, though? I don't know. I think it's more like it's, like, cupped. You know? Yeah, I don't want to try it. Wait, so, like, the fingers are, like, toward the... No, no, you're just, like, magnet. Like, punching it? No, I'm punching it. Like, open hand. I know, but, like... Either way, no. I'm not gonna... Yeah, that's weird. I was shaking my eyes filled with tears as a razor-sharp sensation spiked through me. Probably because you're getting fucking... Smacked in the pussy? Yeah. Karate kidded that night. My entire world narrowed to the pulsing heat between my legs and the man who doled out pain and pleasure in equal measure. Who does your pussy belong to? Ooh, should I say that? You can... You can try. So, okay. Apparently not. Reese removed his fingers from my mouth and squeezed my breasts. Oh, no. They're still in your mouth. Wait, they're still in there? He's, like, fucking choking over there. Anyway, he's smacking her pussy with her... With one hand. And the other hand, he's, like, trying to fucking stick his fingers down her throat. Trying to gag. He's a great guy. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, say it again hard, demanding, authoritative. You. My pussy belongs to you. My voice... My voice broke in a sob as he delivered another sting slap to my clitch. Why do you keep fucking hitting it? Goddamn, dude. Fucking abusive. That's right. It belongs to me, and don't you ever forget it. Slap. Just keeps on slapping this thing. My God. Uh... That is uncomfortable. Yeah. I let out a keening wail, trying to scrabble away and push back harder against him at the same time. I couldn't tell whether I loved or hated what was happening. I'm pretty sure you hated it, because it fucking hurts. Only that I was dripping and burning in every scrape of my nipples against the wooden table. What the fuck, dude? He's, like, table-slamming another jolt of heat straight to my throbbing clit. Are you going to dance with your date again? Reese's voice sounds remarkably even, if tightly controlled. I shook my head, the tears sliding down my cheek. She's crying at this point. No, I mean, like, her eyes are watering. No. Okay. Probably because he's fucking gagging her with his fucking hands and slapping the shit out of her vagina. Ugh. Good. Slap. There you go. My God. You're so wet, princess. Another slap. See how pretty and swollen your clit looks right now. Yeah, if you beat the shit out of it. Like it's begging for me to spank it harder. Slap. Uh, it was too much. Yeah. Shock. Yeah. The words, the brutal, filthy punishment. The fact that we were doing this just around the corner and down the hall from my family and friends. Wait, what? Family and friends? We were at a wedding. For her brother. At a castle. I didn't know it was her brother. I thought it was just a wedding. I think I said earlier it was her brother's wedding. I don't remember. Either way, he's slapping the shit out of some princess pussy. I exploded. Hard. Long. Violent. Ears buzzing. Knees buckling. Showers of light bursting behind my eyes. Oh, she's coming. I would have fallen to the floor. Had reason not held me up. While the strongest orgasm of my life tore through me like an electric storm. And I had to drop my head and bury my face in my arms to stifle my screams. I mean, she made her come that way. But that's how they get off. Okay. No. I was still riding out waves of my mind-shattering release when I feel Reese's tongue gently stroke my clit, licking and soothing it until the burn faded. So it, like... I mean, I don't want to burn, no. She was, like, coming and then he just went down there and just went to town on it? Yeah, like to soothe it? Did he just smack the shit out of it? It's not fucking ointment. It's a tongue. I don't know. He's just being like, I love you. Kiss, kiss. Yeah, and I bet they kissed later, too. Just as I gathered myself together, he stood up slowly, pushing his cock inside me. He withdrew equal slowly until just the tip remained inside. I inhaled, but my first real breath of the night broke into a squeal when he suddenly slammed it into me with a vicious thrust. Yeah, he did. Whoa. Oh, never mind. I probably should have read this more. I just saw his fist. I was like, ooh. No, no, no fist. His fist in my hair kept me in place as he bottomed out with each downward stroke. In the contrast between the gentleness of his entry and the savage fury with which he now fucked me scrambled my senses. Uh-oh. Where I could only hold on to the table for dear life. Oh, did you mean on a table? Mm-hmm. Okay. In and out, in and out. That's what's happening. Does it say that on the book? In and out, in and out? In and out. Harder and faster. That's it, princess. He pushed a kiss to my shoulder. His movements grew jerkier. He was about to come to. Such a good girl. Come for me. Do you say it? Do you tell her to do it? I like when they tell me. But it's G-O-M-E, isn't it? See you in. Uh, in the books they do it both ways sometimes. See you in. But a lot of times the guys will tell them, like, okay, now come. I'm like, I don't think it's like that. You can't just be like, okay, now you do it. And as Reese, too, came with a loud groan, I wondered if he knew he owned every one of these pieces. Not just my body, but also my heart. Yeah, he does. He's a big softie. He's a big teddy bear. I bet he is, yeah. Until you, you know, have sex with him. So there's a part in the book where he says that he may be everyone else's queen, but you're my core. But he says it lovingly. Yeah, that's very lovingly. These guys are fucking class acts in these books, I tell you. The Twisted Love Men are a whole other breed. I bet, yeah. Sounds like it. Sounds like it. But this one doesn't. One of them actually, like, killed the guy that touches his girlfriend. Didn't I read that already? No. Uh, Alex, I guess, did kill someone, too, but it was different. Okay, so two of the Twisted guys killed someone that touches the lady they like. Is there a death in this one? Uh, no. I mean, he beats up someone. But, I mean, he's her bodyguard, so he's kind of mental. How many Chili Peppers are you giving this one? Oh, I gave this one four because, like, what you read was pretty mild. Like, the first time they have sex in a gazebo was really hot. Why don't we read that part, then? Because I like the library scene where he's, like, crawling to me. So Chili Peppers four book overall. I gave this book five stars because I fucking loved it. Like, he is in my top ten of the book men. Definitely book men. Well, I call them book boyfriends, but I don't think you want me to say that, so I'm going to say book men. Well, you already have, so stick with that. Yeah. But that's what they're called. Um, okay, so I gave it five stars because I devoured it. I think I read it in under two days. You shouldn't have said it like that. I did. I devoured it. I ate it up. No, but you did. Oh, God. I love it, too. Fuck no. All right, so four and five? Yeah, four Chili Peppers, five stars. It is one of my favorite spicy books. He's one of my favorite spicy men. I loved her because she was, you know, I mean, she was enjoying her life as a princess where she got to have some sort of freedom in America with her friends, and then she just gets yanked back home when her brother abdicates, and it's kind of like, okay, now you've got to be queen, and everything she had planned for her life went to shit. And I know it's like, oh, poor you, you have to be queen, but it comes with a lot of rules and a lot of restrictions, and she couldn't be with the person that she loved because of it. But she was smart, like she's super fucking smart, and she spends her whole time like this, she's queen, trying to find workarounds to actually have some sort of freedom in the life that she lives. Just the way he said workarounds. Yeah, he does some workarounds on her. Yeah, he does. A little workarounds. He makes her wear the vibrator all day, and like slips it off whenever he feels like. Does that remind you of that? Are they in a Ferris wheel? No. Like in the movie Fear? I don't remember that movie. I just remember. You don't remember the movie Fear? I mean, this was like, this was like, did me and Carrie talk about this? I feel like I've talked about this with several friends. It is where the acceptance of morally gray men probably started for many women my age. Mark Wahlberg was not a great guy in that movie. But all in the end, was he? I don't remember. Until he like, you know, got really bad. But, you know, I love the movie, he was good. It's him and Renee Zellweger, he fingers her on a Ferris wheel. I don't even know if I've ever seen that movie. It is a classic. What's your favorite Mark Wahlberg movie? Separatist, because it's my favorite movie. Okay. What do you think about Mark Wahlberg movies? That really fucking sucked. I hated the happening because what was happening was the trees were mad. And it was the stupidest movie. Spoiler alert. It was stupid. Don't see it. The trees were mad and killing people. Don't see it. It was awful. It was bad. I really, really like the Mark Wahlberg movie where he is, is he the stepdad? With Will Ferrell? Yes. That was so funny. Like, I was crying laughing in that one. I also like the one where him and Will Ferrell are cops. The other guys? Yeah. I love that one. Say hello to your mother. That should be our next line. Well, cheers my love. I love you. I love you. Thanks for tuning in. Good day y'all. Good day y'all. Good day y'all. Good day y'all. Good day y'all. 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