Soaring Over Stress, Episode Eight ~ From Chaos to Creation

This is a podcast episode about dealing with stressful situations in the workplace. The host shares personal experiences with difficult bosses and co-workers, and how some people are emotionally unhealthy. She discusses the impact of confrontation and offers techniques like somatic exercises, such as painting and writing, to process emotions and find equilibrium. She also mentions a self-soothing kit with items like a journal, essential oils, fidget toys, and tea to help calm after a stressful day at work. Here we are again on a brisk September afternoon. Welcome to our 8th episode of Soaring Over Stress. I'm your host, Amy Rae, and today we're going to be talking about how to deal with stressful situations in the workplace. We're going to discuss how our body and brain deals with it, or doesn't, as well as a few different techniques and ways in which I have personally utilized them in my own life, and how they might help you as well. So let's talk about difficult situations at work. In the past, I've had bosses who seemingly took great pleasure in tearing others down. They reminded me a lot of my stepfather, to be honest, only more intelligent. I've also had co-workers who act as though they're all in high school drama class vying for the lead part. Ironically, that reminds me, when a friend and I were in competition for a lead part. Anyhow, I digress. For various reasons, many people aren't emotionally healthy. They aren't emotionally safe. Some will go out of their way to see you fail. They will backstab and gossip about you, and especially if you stand up to them at any point. Thus is the story of my life. Abusive people don't like reckoning. Abusive people don't like being called out on their shit. And immature people are never willing to look at themselves and recognize that change needs to be made. Okay, so what do we do when people are acting this way towards us? We can try and ignore it, but that honestly never lasts long, and I personally think it just makes it worse. If we confront them, which I believe we should, whenever it's safe to do so, we can sometimes be left with a deregulated nervous system. I've spent way too many days at work, being paid far less than I am worth, shaking for hours over things that should never have needed to be addressed in the first place. It can leave your body, not just your heart and mind, in a state of freeze, fight, flee, or fawn, hours after the confrontation. So what can we do? How do we process these big emotions, find our equilibrium once more, and get back to being in a more harmonious and peaceful inner feeling? We create. We do what's called somatic exercises. These are any creative movements with the body that help us process our pain. It could be journaling, writing, poetry, painting, drawing, dancing, etc. This helps the body and brain work through the issue. So most recently, I had an issue with a coworker that had me shaking. Too much immaturity, too much high school drama behavior. She's just catty and mean and manipulative. It felt like I was dealing with my abusive stepfather once again. She triggered my PTSD. I was literally shaking, trying to help customers with their orders. Why are some people so mean? I often think about what went wrong for them in their lives, why they feel the need to be that way. Would be nice if people were healthy and mature. I came from abuse, but somehow my heart survived. I want to help you help your heart survive too. So after the day from hell, thanks to my coworker, I went home, got out my paint colors that I thought matched my feelings inside. Colors such as black and blue that represented my pain and frustration, greens and varying shades because as much as I hate adversity, it always ends up helping me grow. I also added yellow and orange to represent the light and love of God or universe as well. And then I got to painting. I moved my paintbrush and fingers and also did some pull art and the end result was stunning. So how does something like painting help us? Well, when we create while thinking about our pain, stress, et cetera, we move the situation from our amygdala, the emotional center in our brain, to the prefrontal cortex, the region that controls logic and reason. We literally move it at a cellular level. It's an amazing tool and one that I know 100% has saved my life time and time again. Art has saved me. Another example is writing. You can do this by journaling or other forms such as my personal favorite, poetry. I think I wrote four or five poems at my last job. There I was dealing with a deregulated nervous system caused by either my boss or coworker or even a customer. Words would bubble up like some sort of boiling point to the temperature of my pain. I could not stop them from energetically flowing from my shaking hands onto the paper. I wrote this next poem half due to my inability at the time to stand up to those who bullied me like the boss and half as a signal of what got me here in the first place. Exiled Expression was the beginning of me finding my voice, if even only on paper, and I'll read it for you now. Exiled Expression. Underneath my breath there is a valley of unseen truths, silent stutterings of a past that is ever present. Will the hushed and muffled tyranny of my youth ever fully evolve until the full-fledged raging tsunami it ought to be? Will my body ever rid itself of these gigantic betrayals once and for all, allowing my heart and mind the ability to finally relax? Unspoken truths, silent stutterings, seismic activity that cracks the walls of this vessel I am living in. Body tremors, ticks, momentary moments of becoming mute. I am frozen, shivering in the cold hard truth of what was stolen from me, and I, I, I, I want it back. Through painting and poetry and other forms of somatic expression and exercises, we can help our body and brain find equilibrium once more. Not only does it help our body and brain find calm, it also creates a tangible piece of truth, a declaration, if you will, that I made it out of a really crappy day. Perhaps it's akin to a certificate for surviving yet another piece-of-shit day at work. Whatever it is, no matter the end result, be proud of it. You just put a piece of your amygdala on paper. You helped it find expression and thus connected it to your prefrontal cortex so you could better navigate this atrocity we call life at work. I'm also going to be selling this piece of art that's connected to this, this podcast. If anyone is interested, please feel free to contact me. I'm starting the bid at $165. Now for a few other ways to help calm after a stressful day at work. I recently read an article published by The Mighty, written by Juliet V on June 5th, 2023, where she shares 22 things to put in your self-soothing kit. Now not all of these can you take to work, but maybe some will speak to you. All of these use the senses and body in order to regulate the nervous system. We'll go through them one by one, and I'll give you my thoughts on them. I'd love to hear your thoughts as well, so if any of these sound helpful to you or perhaps aren't, feel free to drop me a message here at audio.com or on my Facebook page, Eagle Exercises. And also before I get onto that, I want to thank Lisa, Paul, and Robin for their kind and thoughtful words and their touching comments on my last podcast. It was a hard topic and I was being very vulnerable in it, and I just want to thank you all for your kindness and support. It means so much to me. So here's the 22 things. Number one, a journal and pen. Need I say more? I think you should always have it. Oh, fun fact. One of the days where I was really stressed out, it's not like everybody can stop what they're doing and start writing a poem, right? I actually went in the bathroom and used my finger as an imaginary pen and scribbled on the wall. This still does the change in the brain. It moves the issue from the amygdala to the prefrontal cortex. Any sort of movement where, you know, you're using your body and thinking about what's bothering you at the same time will have that effect. So if you can't write a poem, you can even scribble on paper if you're upset. I know a few days ago I was writing all of the words on top of each other, what I was feeling and struggling with. That way nobody could read it, and I was still getting it out. Number two, essential oils. Okay, so they say with PTSD, a really good smell, you might think it's lavender. It's not. It's actually orange oil. Orange oil was the number one essential oil to help with stress and PTSD triggers. Fun facts. Three is bubbles. Four is a weighted blanket. Oh, Lord, don't we all wish we could just throw a blanket on top of us when we're at work? I'm sure many of us can't do that. I cannot do that. Notes to self. I like positive reinforcement. Fidget toys are good. Ice pack, help with panic attacks. I made an ice pack actually with extra flannel material I have, and you put rice in it. You sew it all up, and then I throw it in the freezer. It's never too cold, but it works really well. I put it on the back of my neck, and it really helps actually with my neurological Lyme issues, but the neurological Lyme issues are panic. So try that. Try that one. Another one is coloring books. They can be very relaxing. You kind of just zone out. One is lotion. Again, I would say orange, but whatever one speaks to you, lemon, lavender, whatever it is. Tea. Mint. Let's see. Mint decaf or decaf green tea. Oh, fun facts. So decaf green tea has a chemical in it called L-theanine. L-theanine actually helps the brain relax within 15 to 20 minutes after drinking it. After I had my brain injury, oh Lord, my brain injury was so bad. It was caused by a doctor's mistake combining the wrong medications together. I kind of had what you would call like a chemical explosion in my brain, so to speak. After that time, I started doing all the research I could to heal my brain, and I came across the tidbit about the L-theanine and the decaf, has to be decaf green tea. I drank like 10 cups a day just trying to help my brain relax. Ooh, that was a rough time, rough time. Okay. Number 11 is books. You could read a nice book during your break for even 10, 15 minutes. 12 is chocolate. Oh, Lord. I used to work at M&M Lars, and let me tell you what. I loved the free chocolate there. It was a great job. I loved working there. They're a great company. 13 is a stuffed animal. Can't really imagine you can go to work with a stuffed animal. 14 is cough drops. Again, I find really not much pleasure in cough drops. They taste like crap to me. I use them when I have to, but not for pleasure. 15 is audio books, again, or it says, or this podcast. Yes, of course, this podcast. You could listen to this podcast probably on your lunch break. Definitely under 30 minutes, that's for sure. 16 is any, what, candles? For real? Who can light candles at work? Oh, Lord. If you can light candles at work, can you please let me know where you work? We'll have a discussion. 17 is gum. 18 is silly putty or slime. For the life of me, I cannot imagine why you'd want to play with slime, but have at it. 19 is headphones, kind of drown out the noise and the sound. Again, it would have to be a place where you could. 20 is ridiculous. It's a DVD. Who the hell would bring a DVD to work? 21 is heating pads. Again, would be nice, not possible. 22, have photos of things that bring you joy and pleasure, whether that's family members or pets or landscape or a place that you've visited on your phone so that when you are stressed out and you can look at your phone, there it will be. That's about it for today, my friends. I hope that you find some of this helpful. Again, I would really appreciate any comments, thoughts, feedback about this. We'll see you next time. Again, also, I do want to apologize. I know it's been a few weeks. I've had a lot going on. Personally, I haven't been able to record. That's all I have for this episode, my friends. Again, this is Amy Bae saying, I see you. You matter. I used to read you. Until next time, take care. Peace out.