Separation Between Church and Men

The speaker discusses the topic of the separation between church and men and the reasons why men may stay away from church. He mentions issues such as corruption in the church, past traumatic experiences, and pride as factors that contribute to men distancing themselves from church. The speaker also touches on the importance of understanding one's inheritance and the intended role of men in life. All right everybody, good afternoon. Welcome, welcome to another installment of Honor Kings and Sons TV. This is episode 2, brought to you by none other than your boy Darian Jones, owner and founder of Honor Kings and Sons TV podcast. I'm so blessed to be here again and to talk to you all, all of my listeners and supporters. Thank you so much for tuning in. You can follow me at honorkingsandsonsTV on Instagram. You can also follow me at HKS apparel, which is the merchandise page connected to Honor Kings and Sons. And you can also follow me on my main page at haywire007. You can follow me on these different Instagram pages along with checking out my podcast on rss.com slash Honor Kings and Sons TV podcast. And of course, if you find me on different platforms, I'm on Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook, and I'll be updating those this year so you guys can follow me on any of those platforms for this podcast and much more to come. So let's get into it for today. We want to talk about a new topic or one of my topics I wanted to bring up and it's called separation between church and men. Now separation between church and men is something that has not been talked about. It's something that I think subconsciously, and I love to talk about the subconscious, I'll do an episode on that one day. I think subconsciously we have not taken a look as to why for a very long time, especially in the Western Hemisphere, why there is such a battle between men and church. Why is there this issue with men wanting to be involved? I wouldn't even say the spiritual aspect of church, but just taking their families to a safe place, safe environment, or that is supposed to be a safe environment because we're not going to, you know, avoid certain things that have taken place in the church temple in unfortunate instances. But you know why? Why is it something that is just, you know, difficult for a lot of men, not all men, but why is it difficult for a lot of men to just connect with church? So I don't have that much time today, but I will take the time that I do have to throw out as much as what I believe are some of the issues and the reasons why men stay away from church. It doesn't matter if they're single or married or divorced, why they decide to stay away from church altogether. And you know, I want to be able to hear from my listeners and supporters, and definitely this is going to need a part two because this is one of those things that it takes a while. Like, we can unfold this bad boy like origami, you know. So let's get into it. First thing I want to say is when it comes to men, and I'm actually doing a project on this, it probably won't be done by the end of the year. Hopefully next year I'll be able to put it out. But a project that has to do with men and their inheritance, and a man, you know, first of all coming to grips with, you know, finding the basic needs of man, you know. So this is a whole, this is not even about the actual, like, men gender, but just like the five basic needs of man, male or female, you know, belonging, security, acceptance, purpose calling, you know. These are the five things that mankind itself look for. But in especially men, there are certain things that a man has to have or has to be aware of. And if he is not aware of those things, or he does not have those things, then he starts to fall apart. The Bible says that a man that doesn't have self-control is like a castle with no walls, right? So we start to, and I didn't want to come in with the biblical references, you know, it's kind of like second nature. But we kind of have to, you know, get an idea of like a man's makeup and why is it such a hard thing to get men to church today. I mean, it wasn't always like that, you know. In history, you know, whether it was Christianity or another faith-based group or religion or, you know, cult-like circle, you know, men, they spearheaded, they initiated, you know, they led their families everywhere, you know. In very few cases, there was the woman doing the leading, very few cases, not discarding the ability of a woman to lead. But you have to take a look at how that has changed. And I would say the furthest I would go back, I won't even go back to like 1500s, 1600s, I won't even go back to Bible days, I'll just go back like a couple of decades. There was a time in America where, you know, every man took their, you know, family to church, you know. And when I say every man, I mean every man. So that was the, I would say even up to the president, I would say the business owners, the bankers, the people who did illegal stuff, mob bosses, drug dealers, you know, loan sharks, you name it, all men took their family to church, you know. It's kind of like what the famous line, not necessarily the famous line from the Godfather, but, you know, it's a reference I always use when he says, women and children can be careless, men can't be careless. So it's like men have to always, you know, foresee, they have to always be aware, they have to always take initiative, they have to always lead. So it's like, you know, you got to make sure that you have your house in order, you know what's going on, you know the next move, and things like that. So, you know, there's certain things back in the day that men used to make sure their family was around, you know, why? They wanted a healthy atmosphere, they wanted, you know, safety, they wanted to know that the children were being raised right. Even if they themselves had some corruption in them, they wanted to make sure their wife and children always saw the good things in life, right, and never the dark things, never the bad things in life. So, you know, when we look at men, you know, why is it that, you know, there's just been a transition in the last couple of decades? I would say, I would say, I would say from the from the 70s going into the 80s on up, there's been a huge thing about men not going to church, or men not being, wanting to be involved with God or church at all. I would say that, you know, there's a lot of stuff that, there comes a point where, you know, corruption plays a huge role, corruption in the church, you know, men in church not being honest, men in church being careless and, and, and open about, you know, their lifestyle, you know, it's not a thing for, to hear about a pastor stealing from the offering, you know. I can speak on behalf of this, coming from an African-American demographic, you know, you hear stories growing up of pastors who slept with women in the choir, you know, or you even have musicians, choir directors, and or pastors that were homosexual, you know, and things of that nature, and, you know, you have that young man who grows up, and it's both ways, you have that man who's watching this minister or watching this person in church live this crazy lifestyle, nobody saying anything, nobody's confronting them, or if they do know, they keep it on the hush-hush, and it's all in the street, but nobody will dare say it out loud in church, and that's the grown man who sees that, but then you have the young man who grew up, and he's innocent, you don't know anything, his parents entrusted the church with his safety, and then you have that minister who takes them in the office, you know, touches them, molests them, violates them, you know, or even a female, you know, kind of like Antoine Fisher, you know, type story where you have a female who does that, and it completely wrecks that child's equilibrium, completely, like they are not who they were before that incident, and so now you have that embarrassment, that shame, that fear, that trauma that is swirling around in that person, and it's messing them up, you know, and they try to overcome it, they find ways to overcome it, and in some cases, some of them, they think that that's what they're supposed to accept, and they turn it into a lifestyle, so we have, you know, different sides of the spectrum. We have some men who they heard about how wild church can get, and just off of what they heard, they ain't going, so that's one factor to look at it. The other factor that I want to throw out is pride, and when I say pride, I'm more talking about a man, he grows up a certain way. His father, you know, if his father happens to be in his life, his father tells him, you get it on your own, don't trust nobody, don't let nobody in, you know, you get it on your own, and the way the father raised that son, he's like, yeah, so he looks at a pastor, and that pastor might have money, might not have money, you know, because that changes the conversation too, but he looks at it, and he's like, man, who are you to tell me how to live? Who are you to tell me how to raise my kids? Who is God to tell me about myself? I'm my own man, I do what I want to do, so it's the pride that raises up in that individual, and he decides that he's going to live his life how he wants to be. One of my favorite movies is Hoodlum with Lawrence Fishburne, and there was a line he said when he's talking to Vanessa Williams, and he said, I made a deal. God and I made a deal a long time ago. I don't come in his house if he don't come in mine, you know, so it's a mindset, you know, it's something that has been either sown into them or something that has been decided based on, you know, how that man understands his role as a man or understand how he must live in this world. He feels like him and God can't be on the same team, you know, and there is lack of understanding, and like I said, going back to the project I made mention of, that I hope to put out by next year, is a project that talks about, I believe, which is the truth about how men should be looking at life, how men were intended to look at life, and that was knowing your inheritance, knowing where it's supposed to come from, who's supposed to give it to you, and according to scripture, I believe that men actually were not designed to be providers, and I know that that's something that's going to be challenging for people to accept at face value, but I'll explain. I believe that, you know, the Bible talks about God being Jehovah, Jehovah Jireh, my provider, right? I look, and when I pay attention to Genesis and when I pay attention to God's plan for mankind, and when I pay attention to, you know, the life of Jesus and him dying on the cross and giving us salvation, I realize that if you pay attention, it's the same thing, that like, we are heirs, and we had access already, we lost it because of sin. We had full knowledge, full understanding, full dominion, full everything. There was nothing that we lacked as a creation, as man. It was until we fell, and the curse is where we had to begin to provide. So, you know, a lot of men, they go around with this complex, they go around with this ego, they have this chip on their shoulder because of the struggle to provide. Some men, their journey begins at a very, very young age because they're born into poverty, you know, or they're born into a household where, you know, two bulls can't rule the same pen, meaning that their father is the alpha, everybody else is beneath, and even the men in the house, like, as long as you're in the house he rules, you only can be a man outside of that house, and he'll tell you when you reach a certain age or after I've taught you what I believe you need to know, that's it, go be your own man, but you can't be the man in this house. So there's just so many ways to look at this, there's so many sides to this issue that I've noticed for years growing up in church, dealing with fathers, myself becoming a father, seeing my brothers who became fathers, interacting with my own father, it takes on so much, and I really believe that our generation of fathers coming up, that it's important for them to know, you know, the origin of their purpose, the definition of who they are, and if they're lacking something, how to get it, where to get it, when to get it, you know, so that they can be prosperous, it really opens up for a huge conversation, and like I said, for the sake of time, I could not unload everything, and I would be so open to having a conversation with a listener, a supporter, fellow influencer, you know, anybody who really believes that they have a sound input, or even a credible rebuttal to what it is that I'm saying, I would love to have that conversation, because this is a big, big thing, really, really big thing that I want to talk about. The separation between church and men, like I said, you can't really put a date, it's been something that has been ongoing, I believe ever since sin came into the world, it's been something that there's a population of men that feel like they've got to get it on their own, they make their own rules, they are as is, and everybody who comes under them, you know, it's you deal with it, or you go somewhere else, I don't need God, and then there is another demographic that acknowledges God to a certain extent, they don't fully commit, and that is another thing too, commitment, I believe that a man, I believe that a man, okay, let me put this this way, most people will say I'm being spiritual when I say a man will never know how to fully commit unless a man commits to God, most people will say I'm being 10,000% spiritual, but I want you to look at it this way, spirituality, how we know it, how we experience it, how we see it in the western world, especially in terms of Christianity, is really altered in many ways, like we have the influence of Hollywood, we have the influence of popularity, we have a lot of things that taint on what spirituality should be and what it should look like, especially when we are talking about God, and so when we bring up something like commitment, right, I don't have to super spiritualize it, I can use the traditional example of a male and a female who are attracted to one another, and in order for that relationship to work, you have to commit to times, schedules, commit to dates, commit to intimacy, commit to financial planning, commit to, you know, all of these different aspects that make a relationship function and thrive and be successful, so I think that when we talk about commitment, if you are a person who reads the Bible, or has read the Bible, and you really pay attention to what God is talking about, God is not talking about 90% of any of the stuff we see on social media, any of the things that are acted out by Christian charismatics, and other religious figures, he's talking about a relationship, he's talking about knowledge, wisdom, and understanding, he's talking about how he meets the five basic needs of man, he gives you the origin of your purpose, he gives you the power that you need to overcome all of your weaknesses and flaws, and he tells you you're expected in, you know, Christians love to use Jeremiah 29, 11, for I know the plans I have for you, right? But when it comes to unfolding that, and mapping out what that looks like, and the gridiron stages of that, the parts where you have to suffer, the parts where it isn't a bed of roses, you know, not everybody wants to say this ain't God, because it's too hard, I'm crying, I'm hurting, I'm broke, I'm this, you know, my life don't look like what it looks like, where it should be on social media, and then we walk away from God's plan, which male and female do that all the time. So I think that when we get away from the smoke screens and all the craziness, we can actually say that God is pretty solid in what he has to say about mankind, what he has to say about the role of male and female, what he has to say to men, what he has to say to women, children, what he has to say about heaven and earth, what he has to say about heaven and hell, what he has to say about everything in terms of us. I think he makes it pretty clear. I just think that we have so many filters when we're reading the Bible, and especially with men, there's so many filters that are in front of us. One, the number one is our pride and ego. The second thing is the upbringing that we got from our biological father, if he happens to not be a person that's faith-based. The third thing would be friends and family, their experiences and how they share about their failures more than the accomplishments that they have. And then just the options, the options that life provides. It is 2,023 people. You have alternative lifestyles. You can change your gender. You can do so much. So a man is looking at that like, man, I can truly do whatever I want. I can be as free as I want. Why do I have to respond to a God that I feel is not there, and his heaven doesn't exist, and the message he has about his son Jesus is not credible, and the people who follow him are blithering idiots. That's the world we live in. The average man can say that. So this is a conversation I would love to have with so many different people, leaders, mentors, pastors, world leaders, anybody who's a father, anybody who is a successful man, or anybody who's a man with an opinion. I would love to have this conversation because I really feel like it's very important that men take it upon themselves to lead, that men take fatherhood more seriously, that men take their inheritance, that it should be, it should mean something for them to go looking for it. A lot of men today, or men who have had power and that had an iron fist, they had a boatload of control, they had a boatload of influence over the last, I'll just say, 100 years. A lot of those men did not have what they need to fulfill their purpose. Did they build a kingdom? Yes, they did. But what did that kingdom consist of? Violence, tyranny, recklessness, debauchery, you name it. Some people, their inheritance, they stole it. Well, the one that they operated with, it was stolen. So automatically, that man was a thief. So like I said, this could take on so many different sides of the spectrum. So I am so interested in wanting to have, I'm going to make a part two to this, but I'm definitely going to give time for people to listen. I want you guys to be able to share this episode, share what I'm talking about so that we can get comments and be able, you guys can send me emails. I'll provide that information. You can leave comments on my links provided. And I want to be able to hear what you have to say about this. Like I said, this is a conversation we can have for an entire year, the separation between church and men. I'm so passionate about this because I've seen it. I grew up in church, born and raised in church. And I've seen the activity of men. I know what it's like for Sunday when my dad is home and I'm with my mom at church, my brothers, or my friends, their father is home and the mom is at church. When you talk to men on the street, when you talk to fathers like that, when you talk to successful men and you ask them about church, you get the craziest responses or you get the same responses. You know what I'm saying? I'm my own man. Why I got to answer to somebody I don't even believe in? Who is the Bible? Who is Jesus to tell me how to live? Or it just goes on. I mean, the amount of answers get crazier and crazier. So, ladies and gentlemen, I wish I had more time to expound on this, but I think I laid a very good foundation. I think I threw out more than enough that we could definitely dialogue and have a conversation about. So, I would love for you to share this episode on your platforms. And, you know, I want to hear and get responses. And I'm going to do a part two. Hopefully, when I do a part two, I can bring on a guest. We can dialogue. And yeah, let's talk about this. And for 2023, let's win. What do I mean by winning in this regard? As men, I want us to finally, you know, say that we have won the fight against a lack of knowledge, lack of purpose, lack of achievement, lack of good parenting, lack of leadership. We can say that we've won the battle, but the battle is close to being won because it's so important. As the years go by, things are getting more and more reckless. And we need a remnant of men who will take their families to a place where God can speak to the man, speak to his heart, give him wisdom to lead. Therefore, he can make a great life for him, his family, and those that are in his circle that he has impact and influence over. So, that's all for today. My name is Darion Jones, owner and founder of Honor Kings & Sons TV Podcast. Make sure that you share this out. Can't wait to get the responses. I love you all. God bless you. And I will see you next time. Peace.