Hello goddess era

The speaker starts by expressing their intention to speak honestly and authentically, acknowledging that not everyone may be ready to hear their message. They encourage stepping away from negativity and judgment and being one's true self. The speaker shares their personal journey and emphasizes the importance of expressing one's emotions and seeking connection and love. They urge people to treat others with respect and kindness and to take care of themselves. The speaker concludes by expressing gratitude and a desire to help others through their own healing process. Hello, and welcome to the Vulnerable Healer. Man, I have got some shit to fucking say, okay? And I'm not going to lie to you, not many of you are ready to hear what I'm going to say. At least you're going to reach a point where you're like, I wasn't ready, but you are ready. We are stepping away from the hate. We're stepping away from the judgment. We're stepping away from all the bullshit. Like, take off the mask, bro. Like, take it off. What's the worst that can happen? Someone judges you? Oh, fuck. Yeah, that stings. I know. I fucking know. It's so hard. Being your authentic self is hard. And? It's literally the most exhilarating journey to embark on. Like, for real. I'm talking real, okay? I lived in Salt Lake City the first 25 years of my life. And now here I am, 25 and a half. Age is kind of bizarre to me, but we're here, and this is the reality that we're in. 25 and a half in human, whatever this, you know, whatever this Matrix-y thing is called. This thing we're all just doing every day. Yeah. So, lived there for the full, like, quarter of my life in whatever. Moved to Idaho, Boise, to be exact. And, yeah, we're, like, thriving. Yeah, sure, yeah. We're thriving. We really are. And, here's me, like, taking off the mask for you, okay? Like, I'm done with the bullshit. Like, tell me how you really, really, really, really, really feel. Like, for real, tell me how you really feel. Because I know that it can be really, really painful. Really sad. Really fucking hard to fucking just get out of bed. Like, I... Here's the thing. Every single one of us can relate to that. Every single human on this planet Earth is suffering and struggling and barely hanging on by a fucking thread. I'm here because I want to help you. Like, fucking help you. I can see why we feel pain. I can see why we treat each other like shit. It's not because it's who we are. It's because we're so disconnected from the one thing that connects everything together. And the reason why we're so disconnected from that thing that we're all craving that love, that real fucking love where you get to just be who you fucking are and just own it and love it. And that be reciprocated in other people in your life. Because you guys, newsflash, are literally just reflections of each other existing, being triggered by each other because it's like, oh, I see myself in this situation but I don't really know how to decipher it because my energy's so fucked up because I don't fucking take the time to breathe, I don't take the time to drink water I don't take the time to go sit in the shade for just two seconds just to catch a breath after working in the fucking long sun Like, bro, what are we doing? What are we doing? I'm like, bro, why aren't we just letting each other just be ourselves? Respect one another. First and foremost, respect one another. Period. Love everybody. Like, why aren't we just loving everyone? Like, for real. You know how nice it is to hug somebody? Like, really, really hug them? I learned in yoga instructor training one time that for longer periods of time your nervous system kind of settles. Like, something happens in your nervous system where you are like, yeah, this feels nice. And then you learn that and then it's like, okay, I'm gonna do this as many times as I can but it feels really good to hug. So you start hugging. Like, all the time. You're like, yep, you know what? I really, really love you. So I'm gonna give you an extra, extra, extra, extra long hug. And you know, it's so interesting because I do this. With most people, unless the energy is just like something that I'm having a hard time with, like processing, and I'm like, oh wait, hold on, you know. But most of the time, like, it's just a Like, I know you have a place to, I know you have places to go. And I know you've got people to see. But we are here right now, hugging each other, in this moment before you go. So what am I gonna do? I'm gonna hug you so that you know that I, like, really, really love you. Because you deserve to feel loved. We all do. We're all imperfect. We're all doing the best that we can. We're all worthy of forgiveness. But it takes working on yourself in here. You know? It starts with forgiving yourself. And that process is a process that you have to go through. It's a process that I'm here to guide you through. Thank you so much for listening. And I hope you found some value in this episode. I have no idea what the future looks like. I'm just gonna live life fully and authentically from love and intuition and we're gonna really help some people. I love you so much and you're fucking bad bitch, fucking queen, fucking OG like, boss. We are fucking lovers of life, fucking people of the fucking sun guys. Our fucking father sun, mother earth sister moon, all of it. We are all connected. Never fucking forget it. Treat people with love and kindness and thank you for listening to the vulnerable fucking killer. We out, this motherfucking bitch. Oh my god. I just wanna keep this going because I'm like, holy shit I just fucking did that. My fucking drop, bitch. My fucking drop, bitch. That was like nine minutes of like fucking fire, dude. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Dude, what the fuck just happened? Bitch, you just channeled the fucking universe. That's what fucking happened. That's what fu- oh my god. Whoa. That moment when you realize that your fucking cleared energy is fucking clear and you're like fucking straight up like, whoa. This is the moment. This is the moment. This is the moment. This is the moment that I have been fucking dreaming of my fucking whole entire life. I just didn't really know what it looked like until I got like to this moment. It's like, oh shit, dude. This is what it looks like. Doing the fucking energy work and doing the fucking work to better yourself because ultimately at the end of the fucking day, my friends my friends. You are responsible for taking care of you. And what does that look like for you? Taking care of yourself. I'm just realizing how we're gonna do these podcast episodes because yeah. This shit's fun. On to the next. Okay, so I had it paused for a second. I'm just gonna record it because I just want to record it and like fuck around and find out, you know, because I'm at this point where I'm like hashtag take off the mask. So we're gonna go crazy and just kind of like fuck around and find out, you know. Worst case scenario, this audio goes absolutely nowhere except the vault of audios that went nowhere. And I'm okay with that. So I'll play music on my Alexa and also record myself saying and singing and doing silly things and talking about the things that we all should be talking about but aren't talking about and frankly I'm just over it. So yeah. It's your girl Divi Autumn Divinity. We are living a multiple we are living a multiverse right now and at the end of the day I get to do whatever the fuck I want as long as it's not causing anybody harm. Myself included. And let me fucking tell you what, friends. If I want to be different people and I'm like living my best life, what the fuck is the problem? I'm serious. What the fuck is the problem? Why are we so fucking good? I don't know. I've been there. The reason why I'm talking so much shit is because guys, we are all relating to this. All of us, okay? I've always questioned other people's choices. I've always like judged but I've let Guys. I've been there. I have fucking been there. Why is that person doing that? Why aren't they doing this? That's our mind. That's our monkey brain. And our monkey brain is made up of so much stuff that we can't even like comprehend on like more than like they say 10% but honestly guys, there's just so much we don't know. There's so much we don't know. And that's okay. I have spent my whole life which yeah, technically it's only been 25 and a half years but I'm like you guys, I have done so much healing to know that it was way worth more than just 25 years, okay? So just let me have my moment where I say I know my shit because I've fucking crawled and sobbed and screamed and punched a punching bag and I have spoken on my attachment issues. I have let myself fully be seen in all my shadow all my life like I'm here. This is me. I'm done trying to pretend to be somebody I'm not. It's a waste of my fucking time. Accept me or don't. I don't really care. If you don't, great. You're gonna find your people. I'm gonna go be with people who really value my authenticity. Who genuinely want to be around me. Who appreciate what I bring to the table because guys, I mean come on. That shit is so amazing. It feels so fucking good dude. Like why aren't we appreciating one another? Why aren't we valuing what each of us brings to the table because guess what guys? We are all humans. All humans. And we are all carrying this beautiful light within us that is connected to literally everything around us. It doesn't make one better than the other. It doesn't make it good nor bad. It is what it is. And it's like at the end of the day, you have two choices. You can either ignore how you're really feeling suppress the emotions that you are supposed to feel. We were not born to suppress. We were born to learn how to express. Expressing your emotions? Yeah, that fucking sucks bro. But it's also beautiful because it's like that's how you heal. So, you have two choices. You can either suppress all of the emotions that are trying to come through you. And in doing that, you're hurting the people that you love because either you're taking it out on them or you're taking it out on yourself. Yeah, I said that. Now listen, I can relate. I promise. I have self-harmed for years. I think from the time I was ten to at least that I can remember. We're still unfolding all of my life. Because let me tell you, healing is not an overnight thing. There's just no one night fix. It's a consistent life process. And it gets to be that way because that's what life is. It's a series of experiences. And that's what we're chasing. We're chasing experience because experience gives us dopamine. Experience gives us serotonin. Experience gives us love, joy. We're seeking the same things. Every single one of us is seeking the same things. We're just finding it in different places depending on where we are on that root level. Take a look around at your life. Are you happy with what you see? If you are, great. I'd love to connect because I just got here. I was just looking around and I'm like, holy shit, I love what I see. And I've never been able to say that before. For the first time in my life. I feel safe. Totally safe. It's no one's fault that this is the first time that I've felt safe because it starts within. My dad was struggling with addiction from his own generational trauma that he was carrying while also finding out that he was going to be a dad. And he went sober when I was born. But he was battling his addiction for the first few years of my childhood. And I don't know about you, but I think we're all addicted. To something, to some degree. Whether it be drugs and alcohol, or whether it's to attachment, whether it's to this false illusion that someone else can love me better than I can. Why are we willing to be in this place? Where we can choose the other option. Where we work through our fear. We work through the things that trigger our shadow and trigger all the triggers that we've accumulated over time. It's just a volcano of triggering. How can you show love and kindness to another human when you're fucking volcanoes erupting of fucking triggering and you can't even fucking pause for two seconds to just take a deep breath and find presence in a conversation with somebody. Like, really look at the people in your life. See them. They are alive. You are alive. We are literally living human fucking beings. Guys. That's powerful fucking stuff. I understand it's hard to understand. We're all trying to figure it out. We're all trying to figure out why we're really here even if we're not aware that's what we're doing. But at the end of the day, my friends we are all human beings. Figuring it out. Trying to figure out why the fuck we're even here. While also dealing with the reality of this physical fucking realm. And guys, what the fuck are we doing? What the fuck are we doing? We are taking, this is what I see. We are relying on pharmacists, doctors to tell us what we need and we're not listening to essentially what our soul is saying that we need. Because sometimes what our soul is telling us to do is scary, unfamiliar uncomfortable So choose your heart. Do you want to stay the same? Do you want to stay comfortable? Because that's fine. I promise you. That's really, really okay. We get to choose. And every single opportunity that comes your way, you get to choose again. You just get to keep choosing. You get to choose how you live your life. You get to choose whether to take care of yourself in a way that supports you mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually. You get to be the one to listen to your intuition and do what feels best for you while also letting yourself live life to the fullest. Because you're worthy of that. Incidences. Okay. Starting over. I've been through a lot these past few weeks in Boise. Just feeling like I don't know. I've just been working through a lot of root chakra stuff. The first step in cultivating a strong root chakra is safety. The first two weeks was establishing safety. I'm almost to the third week checkpoint and this week it was kind of like a security check. Like, okay girl, you got security? And I'm like, no. No, I don't have a job. The Vulnerable Healer, I guess. We're taking off the mask and we're going to just talk about really what I'm going to do. And share with you what I'm really going through. You ever done this before? You ever fucking spoken to a mic in the middle of your fucking room all alone with your laptop just like telling this microphone all of the shit that you're feeling and letting yourself be fully seen and understood and heard and just witnessed in this existence? How do I describe this fucking existence? Mind blown. Anyway, okay. Where was I even fucking going? God damn it. Oh, we were talking about Oh, job thing. Right. On schedule. Okay, job thing. So, job thing. Yeah, I've really struggled with getting a job since my awakening a little over two years ago. Yeah, I was like working way, way, way, way, way, way, way, way, way too much from when I was like 16 to the age of 23. Yeah. Yeah. So, in that time frame, 16, 23 years old, I was working a job serving at like IHOP, Denny's. Sometimes I have two jobs. Sometimes I've had three jobs. I just balanced a lot of different serving jobs while also going to high school. So, keep in mind I'm still in high school and I graduated high school, my friends. I don't know how I did. I don't really know how my brother did either because a lot of things were pushing us in the direction to not do that. So, we did that before I even continue on because I really don't know how we even survived. Fuck, dude. Yeah. So, essentially, I moved out of the house when I was 16 years old. I had gotten myself a car. My parents helped me buy the car. I wouldn't have been able to get the car without my parents. So, they were very, very supportive of me just becoming an adult. I think that's hard for parents to let their kids go because a lot of change is happening very quickly and they're losing control. So, the illusion of control feels safe. It feels comfortable. When your child grows up, of course, you're wanting to attach completely, overbearingly, like, oh my God, don't leave me. Not all parents are like that, but I get why some are because it's hard. It's hard. So, my dad really struggled with this and, yeah, we experienced a lot of growth in this period of our lives. It was a really beautiful process. It was hard. It's very hard. It's very painful. But we're in such a good place now. I fucking love my dad. As hard as it is, I didn't really understand love for a long time. I'd say, like, I love you. I'd say I love you to my exes. I'd say I love you to family. You do what you do, but it reached a point where it was like, what does love even mean? And that's kind of what essentially started my journey is a curiosity. What would it look like to love myself fully? What would it look like to take care of myself to the fullest? Where I'm, like, free of pain. I'm actually happy to be alive. I love this world so fucking much that my biggest fear is leaving before I have the chance to say what I want to say and help the people that I want to help. And it's over fucking whelming because look at the world we are literally living in. There is so much happening around us that we are all aware of on some degree. And things are changing. I feel the shift so deep within me to the point to where I'm here recording this. And I'm going to post this. Probably going to edit little teeny tiny little things, but honestly, I want to be raw human to you. Take off the mask. I want to take off all of the worries I have for being disliked. Like, if you're listening to this and you don't like what I'm saying, that's okay. I'm not here to be everybody's cup of tea. I don't want to be. Because that would be a very unfulfilled version of me. And when any of us are unfulfilled, we're projecting that dissatisfaction with our life. Whether we're aware of it or not. And we're doing that to each other all the time, every single day. Can you imagine a world where we're all healing. We're healing all the parts of us that create this anxiety across the globe. This universal anxiety that we all feel from time to time. One of my old friends said I live with my anxiety just like I live with my anxiety. I snuggle it. And I'm like, you snuggle your anxiety? Why? That shit sucks! You've gotten so accustomed to having anxiety. Like, that's the world we're living in? Because guys, that's not a world I really want to be a part of. If I'm being realistic. And you know what? I think that's why the suicide rates are so fucking high. Because yeah, this world is pretty fucking crazy. Scary. And just like downright just like, what are we fucking doing guys? We're going to go into a lot of this. Because I believe that I'm meant to share through my creative expression. And being able to unlock my creative expression through all the healing work that I have done is by far the greatest gift that I could have ever experienced in my life. This episode is a hello to a world that's worth living. You get to choose what kind of creating you get to choose what world you get to be a part of. You get to either be in the world where people are still angry. People are still projecting their angers onto other people. People are going to continue being sad and depressed and unhappy and unfulfilled. Or you can choose another world. And ask yourself, why am I coming from a place of hate and anger and fear when I can come from a place of love kindness, compassion? Like why aren't we asking those questions? We get to choose whether to be compassionate or hateful. So I challenge you. Can you continue on your journey showing kindness and compassion for the human family and every single being you come in contact with. Everything is connected. And everything is a reflection of the world inside your head. Ellen Watts. Gets me in every fucking time. I'm just so grateful for the spiritual fucking people before us that strive to make the kind of impact Ellen Watts has in the world. Trust the ripple that you make. Trust that every single choice that you make is creating a significant difference in your life and in the lives of everyone else in this reality. Also hug somebody that you love. Give them all of your love. Because you have no idea how long you have here. One more thing. Smile. Laugh. Have the best day of your life. Like fucking live it. Live it to the fullest. Don't go like do drugs. Don't like party. Don't like suppress the joy from a fucking the best day of your life. Like you feel that fucking joy bitch. You breathe in it. It may be overwhelming. Great. Savor that. Because you're fucking human bro. You're meant to feel your fucking emotion. If it becomes overwhelming, just breathe. Just breathe. Just breathe. That's it. Thank you for listening to The Vulnerable Healer. I am your host Divinity and we are in the stars. We're in the earth. We're connected through time and space. We are here. We are so grateful that you are too. I love you so much and we will see you next time.