extramile pod EP11

The speaker reflects on a recent realization that they no longer feel the need to prove themselves to others. They discuss how this pressure to prove oneself is ingrained in society and can lead to anxiety and unhappiness. They encourage listeners to consider if they are acting in a way to please others or if they are being true to themselves. The speaker emphasizes the importance of being authentic and not seeking validation from others. What is happening team and welcome to episode 11 of the Extra Mile podcast, man, I actually always forget what episode we're actually on, man, but, so, what I talk about today guys is, right, I was actually having a thought, and I'll be completely honest, it was when I was mad that Arthur Sellers Angels came, and it was basically, I was looking in a mirror, right, we're in some pub inside a bar, right, just off of Changu, right, and basically it was the first thing that I'd looked at myself in a long while, right, where I was like, I don't need to prove anything to anyone, and I was like, ah, fuck, that's quite a mad thought, that even, like, with everything that we're doing and just generally how much I've grown as a person over the past five years, right, I always felt as if I still had to prove something to someone, and it's something that I've had around me for ages, right, like, since I can remember, always, like, you had to prove something to your family, and you had to prove something to your pals, and your classmates, it fucking just goes on and on and on and on and on, your, like, your boss and all that kind of stuff as well, right, and, like, I generally, don't give a rant, it's probably just about the ten pints as well that I had, right, but I had that kind of thought process that I've had, and, you know, but, I don't need to prove anything to anyone anymore, right, I know exactly who I am, and where I'm going, and what I want to do, and what my purpose is in life, right, and I kind of wanted to share this thought with you guys, because I know a lot of these guys, consciously or subconsciously, will be in the same position where they're proving something to someone, but you don't actually need to do this, the only person you need to prove anything to is yourself, and that is the bottom line of it, guys, like, see, as long as you know you're showing up for yourself, you're doing what makes you happy daily, and you're putting the effort in to become the best version of you, then that's it in a nutshell, you don't need to prove anything to anyone, and again, like, I was having conversations with someone earlier on in the week, right, and, like, their friend was basically, like, not judging them, but putting in wee digs, do you know what I mean, and it's like, but it doesn't matter, because you don't need to prove anything to them, do you know what I mean, like, you're doing everything you're doing for you, and that's what matters, and then you kind of reflect on that, and go, like, do you feel good, yes, are you in the best spot of your life, yes, are you feeling healthy and fit, yeah, and is there an excitement, yeah, well, what do you need to prove, who are you proving it to, and I think, like, because of the kind of culture that we've lived in, especially in Scotland, right, that there is this element that you need to be someone potentially you're not, or you need to act a certain way around certain people and all that kind of stuff, and it's the way we've been brought up and all that kind of stuff as well, because, like, the case that I know of is, like, when I would just go to pubs and all that kind of stuff, and, like, I would take cocaine, because I thought that's what I had to do, that's who I had to be to fit in and all that kind of stuff, and you're, like, acting like, why, like, why you doing shit like that, man, and I know that's, like, an extreme example of it, guys, but you can look at it in different ways, it's, like, certain people maybe support a certain fucking sports team, because they feel it's the right thing to do, because that's what everyone else will do, it'll make them fit in, or they'll act a certain way around a certain person, because they feel like they need to prove themselves like that, like, maybe you're a big brother, you're a big sister, or, like, you're more your dad or something, like, you're best pal and all that kind of stuff, right, so, like, what I want you to really get in your head, guys, is, like, you don't need to prove anything to anyone, like, you are enough, do you know what I mean, like, you as your wholehearted self is all that matters, that's enough for anyone, and see if anyone doesn't like that, or can't handle that, or doesn't think it's good enough, fuck them, like, it's as black and white as that, right, and I know this is quite, like, a, how do I say, deep one, because, well, it is to a degree, but I think it's something that needs to be said, do you know what I mean, like, see what you're doing daily, are you doing that for you, or are you doing it because you're trying to prove something to someone else, do you know what I mean, is that a bit of dark energy, and do you know what I mean, like, look at me, I think dark energy can be quite good at times, right, like, obviously if you take me back to the printers, I fucking make sure I never missed a beat after I left it, because you said I would admit to nothing, do you know what I mean, so that's why we're in this position that we're in, right, and again, like, dark energy does come up, it does help, right, but see if you're constantly trying to prove something to someone, like, you'll constantly be looking over your shoulders, you'll constantly have that feeling of anxiety, you'll constantly feel a bit, like, ropey, do you know what I mean, and you'll constantly be, like, in a state of overwhelm, to be completely honest, man, so I want you to think about this today, guys, like, are you trying to be something you're not because you think it's what someone else wants you to be, and if that is the case, guys, like, sit down and actually think about it, like, what do you actually want to be, who do you want to be, do you know what I mean, like, again, as we speak about, like, legacy, what do you want to leave behind, what do you want to be known for, like, what is it that you want, do you know what I mean, and literally have that thought, and ask yourself what you're doing, are you doing that for you, or someone else, do you know what I mean, and, like, don't think about, like, if you're a mum or a dad, like, don't think about going, oh, I need to do that for my kids, that's different, right, or if, like, you have to do it for your parents, right, or something like that, right, but it's, like, the way you act, the way you operate around certain people, man, like, are you trying to prove that you're someone that you're ultimately not, okay, and this is, like, the kind of deep work, guys, that leads to ultimate happiness, and really, like, being at peace with yourself, do you know what I mean, and it's something that I really, really collect, like, I didn't even subconsciously know I was doing it until I was ten pints deep in Bali, do you know what I mean, that was the only reason, right, but it wasn't until I had that kind of look at myself in the mirror and went, fuck, you don't need to prove anything to anyone anymore, do you know what I mean, don't get me wrong, it was because, obviously, we're set up in Bali, we're obviously on holiday at the moment and that kind of stuff, but we're going to be running full reset, like, from Asia for the next month or so, the next couple of months, and it is one of those ones where you're just, like, going, right, okay, like, I don't need to prove anything to anyone, like, I've built the life I want to live, do you know what I mean, and I'm happy, and I just wanted to get that point across to you guys, like, if I'm thinking like that, and I've been, in my head, thinking of, like, having to do stuff to prove myself to people that are ultimately not, that they don't matter, but their opinions are relevant, then I bet you there's some of you that are doing the same as well, do you know what I mean, because I always say, guys, like, we're all very, very similar, and that's across the board, that's why we all work together, do you know what I mean, but I want you to really, really sit and think about it today, guys, like, are you acting in a certain way to prove yourself to something, someone, that ultimately does not even matter, and then, at the other token, is that actually taking you out of a state of happiness, that's ultimately making you overwhelmed, depressing, a wee bit miserable, guys, so sit and think about it today, at one point, the way you operate, the way you act, is that to prove yourself to someone, or is it because that's how you actually want to act?