S1 E4 The Complete Retreat

The speaker discusses her recent retreat experience, emphasizing the spiritual and energetic activities that took place. She highlights the importance of vulnerability and connecting with others who have similar experiences. The speaker shares three impactful moments from the retreat, including being assigned a partner for emotional support, practicing mindfulness and being present, and engaging in yoga and meditation to connect with one's body and release past emotions. She encourages listeners to incorporate intentional movement and self-trust into their daily lives. The speaker also describes a powerful visualization exercise where she let go of her past self with the support of her father. The overall message is to embrace vulnerability, self-love, and personal growth. Hello everyone, welcome back to the Spiritual Healing Podcast, I am your host Nicole, and today we are going to talk about the most recent retreat that I just went on. It was absolutely amazing and there was so much spiritual activity going on, and I don't mean like haunted activity, no no no, I mean like energetic activity that, you know, was really captivating and really truly, truly life-changing, and throughout these healthy exercises that we all did together, we also made time to just be vulnerable and to, I don't know, just really open up about our struggles, about our goals, what we wanted to achieve, and what we all felt was holding us back, and when we did this, it was a really beautiful, beautiful reminder that, you know, we're all feeling these emotions, whatever emotion you may be feeling right now, whether it be confusion, or anger, or sadness, anxiety, even happiness, even like feelings of being grateful, like we all feel these things, and it's so common to really bump into people and discover and meet people who might have gone through very similar things that you've gone through, and you don't truly know how deep the connection is that you can make with a person until you get deep yourself, and that kind of reminds me of like how we can only love someone as deep as we love ourselves, and that healing 2-2-2 retreat, it was a group of eight young ladies, all in the spiritual space somehow, some of us wanted to do work with the body, some of us wanted to do work with coaching, I'm a big fan of meditation, and we did a beautiful meditation in there, and we all brought our talents and our gifts into the house, and it was so wonderful being able to celebrate these beautiful souls, as well as be celebrated, so I just want to kind of walk you through what that looked like, I'm going to talk about three specific instances that I feel like were super impactful, and when I share these experiences, I want them to inspire you to go out there and to incorporate these practices, or find a professional to facilitate the kind of environment that I will be talking about, because I promise you, with the right guides, with the right professionals, with the right people, change really will occur within you, and I feel like sometimes it's hard when you have this information, you know how you can grow, you know what kind of steps you need to take in order to grow in the direction that you already know that you want to go down, but sometimes there's such a strong and tall barrier between you and that version of yourself, it takes an additional person or a group of people to really help you knock that barrier down and move forward, so I feel like that's what everybody received in that experience, so let's get into it. The very first day we got there, we were all assigned a partner, and that was a person who was dedicated to holding space for us whenever we needed to talk, they were the person that we could come to and really open up to, and that person was to have your back, and my person and I connected on such a wonderful, amazing level, like as soon as we were alone and got that one-on-one time, we just opened up about everything, like we did not hold back, like I went straight into my deepest, deepest wound, and I was like, so this is what's within me, and she looked at me in shock, and she was like, oh my gosh, like same, I can totally relate, and it was like we were both speaking each other's heart songs, like we just connected instantly, and it was so, one it was wonderful just feeling that vulnerable and that open with somebody, and knowing that the only thing that they're going to do is just love you through that, and support you through that, but also it was wonderful knowing that like, oh, I wasn't alone, like okay, you know, are we trauma bonding right now? Like, it was, it was, guys, all of it felt good, all of it felt good, and then after that we got assigned an intention that we could keep with us, and just keep in mind as we go through the retreat, and my intention was the most beautiful, simple word that was the word be, just to be, to be present, to be one with myself, at least that's how I took it, the word was just be, but it really, really gave me permission to just close my eyes, and I even do this like on a regular basis, like I'll close my eyes, so that way I can really hear, so that way I can really feel, so that way I can really take in my surroundings, without, you know, just sight, I feel like we're so dependent on sight that sometimes we lose sight of our other beautiful senses, so it really allowed me to tap into all of my senses, and really continuously bring myself back to the present moment, there was many a times where I was just soaking in the conversations that I was hearing around me, conversations full of happiness, and love, and support, and then there were also times where I was just soaking in silence, and just feeling the energy that I was radiating, and it all felt amazing, so if you have a moment today, I want you to just be, I want you to take a moment, and close your eyes, and connect with the breath, tune into what you hear, feel the clothes on your back, feel the surface that you are sitting on, or laying on, or standing on, feel the breeze, feel the sun, go get in some water, you know, really intentionally be there in that moment, because it's, that's what life is all about, we are not our past, we are not our future, we are our here and now, so please do that moving forward with your life, carve out a moment for yourself, you deserve it, you, that is your right, and I, I love that for you, and then the following morning, my partner, that same person, she led us through a beautiful yoga class in the morning that really taught me, like, what my body was capable of, now, I'm not a flexible person, I have really tight hamstrings, I, sometimes, I can't even touch my toes, they're tight, I'm, I'm tight, so, when we were doing the yoga practice, I, there was some times where I was like, I don't know if I can do this pose, or, man, this is really difficult, but I just trusted, and I just let my body do what it could do, I did not judge my body, I did not compare myself to anyone else in the room, it was my practice, it was for me, it was whatever I needed it to look like, and it was whatever I needed to feel, and it really showed me, when I let go of, of that self-criticism, that, like, I'm not flexible enough, I'm not fit enough, I should be more active, when I just shut all that down, and shut all that up, which I want you to do, every time your body is faced with any kind of challenge, or hurdle, or struggle, or whatever, just allow your body to feel it out, let it do what it wants to do, because you'd be surprised at the beautiful things that it can do, like, if you want to run, and you push yourself to run an extra mile, or a half mile, like, no stress, just bliss, coat your body in that blissful, loving energy, and be like, you know what, I, I'm just gonna let you take the lead, like, I believe in you, I believe in my body, I, I love my body, so, let's, let's do this, and I really think you'd be surprised at what you can achieve when you do what you feel, instead of what you feel obligated to do. So that was a really beautiful, beautiful experience, I trusted my body a whole lot more with that, I was able to just kind of read the signs my body was giving me as well, and, yeah, I felt, I felt more connected, it was, it was great, so I highly recommend that you take it upon yourself, and incorporate more intentional movement into your everyday life, and intentional movement can look like so many different things, my friends, intentional movement can look like a yoga practice, it can also look like working out, it can look like doing some stretches, going for a walk, just be intentional, and trust, and allow it to be a healing experience, and it will be. So the next day, or the next experience that I would really love to talk about is actually another yoga practice, and it was like yoga slash a deep meditative practice, I got super deep in the instructions and the guidance that our beautiful light leader was guiding us through, and she had us envision a version of our younger selves, and this younger self was to represent our past selves, our old selves, the self that we wanted to let go of in order to step into this new version of ourselves, the person that we wanted to be. So in my mind's eye, it's me standing on the beach, and I'm looking at my younger self, which in my past episode, I briefly talked about the voice of my ego, and how that egoic voice that lived within me was actually a younger version of myself, so I'm looking at her, she's back, I say hello, and we were instructed to take them by the hands and look them in the eyes, and say I love you, and that's exactly what I did, her and I were on good terms, last time we kind of crossed paths, you know, we appreciated each other in a new light, and we came to a new level of love, and then she instructed us to allow them to walk away, and this, my friends, this was so hard for me. We were in pigeon pose, which is a hip opening yoga pose, and we store a lot of emotions, a lot of trauma in our hips, and when I was trying to envision her walking away, oof, I felt so much emotion, I actually started to cry, because it was hard for me to have her walk away, I just learned her story, she didn't want to be alone, she knew I was going to be letting her go soon, and I felt like I was doing exactly what her deepest, darkest fear was, I was letting her go, I was telling her I loved her, and then sending her away on her own, and then, all of a sudden, my dad appeared, and this beautiful angel of a man comes down, stands right beside me, takes her hands out of mine, puts them into his, and he says to me, don't worry, I will take her, I will take her with me, and I will love her, just like you always have, she will be loved, she will be okay, she will be held, and yeah, I'm taking her with me, and I was just like, oh my gosh, like, thank you so much, because I felt like, her being with him, I know my dad has always loved me, and he loves me even still, him and I have a very deep connection, even though he's not alive and physically here with me, he is so alive in my mind, body, and soul, he is so alive in the connection that I have with spirit and with energy, he is the person that I talk to, he is the person who visits me in my dreams, like, he is my guy on the other side, so him taking her, and reassuring me that she was going to be okay, that just, I was like, yeah, she will be more than okay, she is in the presence of a great man, and I'm glad that they have each other, so, so I watched them walk away into the sun, down the beach, away from me forever, and you know, I was, I was at peace, I was, for once in my life, I was a-okay with letting that pain go, letting all of that past hurt go, and I felt that so deep, that literally my body just felt lighter, and I felt free, I felt like a big burden was taken off of my shoulders, I felt a huge release in my lower abdomen and hip area, and I literally felt my root chakra just like tingling, it was so good, it was so energetically powerful, but it's not over yet, so then, my friends, this amazing goddess of a, of a leader, tells us to then envision our higher selves, a higher version of ourselves, coming closer to us, and this higher being of consciousness, glowing as bright as the sun, beautifully, radiantly, like, she told us to feel the energy coming off of them, what does that feel like? So, I was feeling the energy of confidence, I was like, oh, she is confident, she is warm, she is loving, she is happy, she is at peace, she knows, with such divine wisdom, that her life path is to help, and that her life path is to inspire, and to help heal this planet, and I felt it so much, and I respected this, this image that I was creating in my mind, and the closer and closer this being got to us, she said, the more it starts to resemble us, and slowly but surely, I followed with no fear, and this being started to look more and more and more like myself, and before I knew it, she was right in my face, it was like looking into a mirror, but I was glowing on the other side, and then, she said, to allow this version of our higher self to mold completely into us, into us here and now, and I did again, I did so fearlessly, so receptively, I just, I listened and did, I did not, you know, question for a second, I did not put up any kind of barriers or fights, I just simply flowed with the energy, with the movement, with the instruction, with the poses, and she did, she merged right into my being, and then it clicked for me, and I realized, I am the embodiment of that confidence, I am the embodiment of that warmth, and that love, and grace, and peace, and I am here to inspire, and to help people, and to help humanity, to aid this planet, that is why I'm here, and it was probably the most confident, like reassuring, most impactful experience that I have ever felt on uncovering my purpose, and really standing in my truth, because trust me, I have talked about this for years, I remember in 2020, my new year's resolution was to stand in my truth, so this has been not only a goal of mine, but this has been on my plate, like on my to-do list, to fully embody this for a long time, and no matter how many spiritual practices I would lead myself through, it turns out I needed someone who was specialized, who, this was her thing, this is what she did, this was her gift, her talent, and she shared that talent with me, and let me tell you, when somebody takes a gift so beautiful like that, and shares it with you, it has such an incredible impact, so I'm just so grateful, and I want to share this experience with you, because you deserve to have these kind of experiences yourself, and really talking about it, and listening to videos about it, and kind of trying to self-heal, it can heal you in tremendous ways, but I'm here telling you my friends that when it's somebody else's guidance, and when you're in the presence of such an energetically healing person, like a true professional, it's different, it hits different, so if you have the opportunity to visit a yoga studio, to schedule yourself a Reiki appointment, even schedule yourself a massage, to sit in a meditation circle, or in a meditation class, or if you have any possible way of incorporating more holistic programs and holistic teachings and classes into your life, please, please do so, if you see a retreat happening, and you feel called to go, no matter what the topic is, it could even be about finance, it could even be about your overall health, and working out, whatever it is, please, please show up, and be there, and bring your whole self, because meeting people on the level that you want to be at, or just meeting people on the same level as you, with the same mindset, and the same goals as you, it's such a healing, healing time, and it makes the retreat such a healing, healing place, so please do that for yourself, like I'm begging you, I want the best for you, always, and I don't know friends, I'm pretty confident that that's the best right there, that is the best, and you know, of course, get a feel for it, do your research, do whatever feels right for you, make sure that it's a good group of people, make sure your energy is on point, so that way you attract good people, but oh my gosh, please, please, find your community, and reach out to them, let them influence you, like let them share their gifts with you, and receive, so, with that, let's talk about the very last thing that I found was just truly life changing, that will really probably stick with me for the rest of my life, it was a breath work exercise, and this breath work was no joke, like I like to do breath work here and there, like I try to do it every morning, but it's not always every morning, if I'm being perfectly honest with you, but yeah, I try to incorporate breath work in everything I do, even if I'm just sitting on the couch, I'll check how I'm breathing, so this breath work that we were walked through, again, like the vibes were there, the music, the guidance, all of it was beautiful, and we started out with just some belly breathing, that flowed up into the chest and out through the mouth, and with every inhale and exhale, I just, we were given the opportunity to make it our own, and to do what we felt called to do, to release what we felt called to release, and to really transform in a way that we knew intuitively was best for us, and one, being able to kind of have that power and dictate how I felt like I could transform and heal myself was so empowering on its own, and what I decided to do in those moments was I decided to do a little Reiki on myself, and for those not really familiar with Reiki, it is when you kind of channel the energy of your body, your energetic body, you kind of tap into the chakras and the meridians and the places of energy that we have, and with that, you are able to establish an alignment with higher consciousness, with pure light energy, and the Reiki master's goal is to bring that energy into your being while flushing out the energy that no longer serves you, and I was at first really just taking the energy out of my body with hand motions and all, I don't even care how I looked, I was lightly wiping over my arms and my legs and holding my sacral chakra, holding my solar plexus, holding my heart, my throat, I was clearing out everything, everything I possibly could with every inhale, with every exhale, I was in the moment, I was being, okay my friends, I was being in those moments, I was there, there was nothing in my mind other than clearing out the energy that no longer served me, and with each area of my body I focused in, I felt a difference, energetically, physically, and emotionally, because in our bodies, there are places in our body that hold different emotions, so emotions are stored, you know like in the shoulders for example, it could be dealing with heavy burdens, or just a lot of responsibility that gets packed on your back, and a way to heal the tension in your shoulders would be to come to peace with those heavy, heavy things that you carry, and to release them when you feel safe to, when the time is right, when you're being called to do so, so in all of these areas of my body I was feeling out where I once felt abandoned, I was feeling out where I once lost my true creativity, I was feeling out where my voice was once silent, and where I didn't feel secure, and I was just shedding them like a snake sheds skin, I was just wiggling right on out of them, I was like, bye bye, back into the universe you go, please energy just disperse, go to where you are needed, go to a raging waterfall, go to the ocean kissing the sand, like wherever you go energy, you can't live here, this is my sacred temple, and then towards the end we were asked to again bring in our higher selves, and when I felt her you guys, shocker I cried again, I was just letting the emotions flow, I did not care, yeah I cried again, and I really brought her down into my being, I felt like a mother bird, like I just prepared this beautiful nest, this beautiful home, in my vehicle, within my body, where this most precious divine spirit, this version of myself, my higher self could come down into and truly take up space, and I felt like she was coming back home, and there was a time during that, where the music was loud, the eyes were closed, everybody was in their own little world, healing themselves, the best way they knew how, and I just started after crying, okay cause mind you I'm still crying, but now I'm smiling ear to ear, and I just feel so called to whisper, welcome home, I've missed you, and I even get giddy right now, and my heart is fluttering with happiness right now as I remember this, and as I say this, I felt like I truly came home, to myself, I feel like on this planet, while I've been here, my 27 years of life, almost 27, but I just feel like I've been so lost, and so disconnected from my own inner confidence, and my own inner strength, and my truth, and my light, my purpose, I felt so disconnected, like this feels like it could be for me, but also could I really be that, could I really be that excellent, could I really be that person that I have this vision of being, I feel like we all feel that way, we all have doubts on how successful we could potentially be, and sometimes, sometimes, that big dream of success could be a little scary, you know, you'd be like oh that's taking up way too much space, that is stepping into a lot of responsibility, that is completely changing everything I know, and sometimes that leads to you feeling very uncomfortable, very unsure because of all the uncertainties, because of all the action steps it's going to require you to take, and it can leave you feeling just almost defeated before you even begin, and in that moment, I felt like I succeeded before I even began, and afterwards, I went up to the breathwork facilitator, and I said listen, this was absolutely divine, and life changing, and it was pure magic, pure magic, like please continue to share your gift with the world, please continue to radiate your light, please continue to just take up space, and provide the service, because this is a service worth remembering, and it's a service worth paying for, and I think also when it comes to healing ourselves, you know, our culture has really adopted the idea of therapy, which I absolutely love, I feel like we need to talk, and we need to bring voice to situations that may not sit well with us, situations that we have to work through, or things that we just can't let go of, so therapy has been really pushed, and really accepted, and really embraced, and it's helped a lot of people, but I also think what can help a lot of people is energetic work, and energetic healing, because at the end of the day, we are all energy, and we know this, like we know this, and when you heal, and tap into your energy, and you just, you quiet the mind, and you let the soul do all the work, holy cow, does it do work, like if you think the mind works hard, when you let the soul take the lead, and when you let the soul just do it's thing, and you take the back seat for a second, and you just let go, you let go of all the thoughts of the day, you let go of where you work, you let go of what you do, you let go of where you live, and you just tap into the energy that is around you, the energy that is within you, oh my gosh, you feel that like you've never felt anything before, it's such a deep sensation, and I want to also mention here that healing is not all sunshine and rainbows, and it's really really important that we just keep that in mind, moving forward, and as you move along your journey, you remind yourself that healing is about flipping over the rocks, and looking at what's underneath, and when you're truly in this state of, or in this phase where you feel like you need to heal in order to move forward, just please make sure that you are in a safe space to do so, surrounded by safe people, surrounded by a safe environment, because your safety is what's going to allow you to truly be vulnerable, and that feeling of safety is not something that should just be overlooked, you should feel incredibly safe to open up to whoever you plan on opening up to, and this person, I mean I'll even put it out there, this person can be me, this podcast is so I can be your spiritual friend, your homie, like I am here for you, that's why I'm here, because I'm here for you, and so if you need someone to provide a safe environment, to facilitate a safe exercise practice where you can truly release, and you can truly heal, that's everything, and I would be honored to provide that space for you, so again friends, thank you for holding this space for me, thank you for listening today, the entire retreat from start to finish was absolutely magical, and we did like, we did a spa night, we did, the girls got tattoos, I'm not tatted, but they got tattoos, we went to lunch, we went to a festival, like it was wonderful, like a little shopping market kind of festival, it was wonderful, we got some hot tub time, and I highly recommend that you find this group of people, and if you don't have this group of people, do not sleep on your capability to attract this group of people into your life, because you have the power to do so, never in my wildest dreams would I have ever imagined meeting such an amazing group of women, and it really all started when I saw my now life coach, I was just scrolling on Instagram, I saw her page, it took me three hours to decide if I wanted to work with her, I stalked her like crazy, I listened to her podcast, I watched her videos, I read her posts, and I was like, you know what, I get a really good feeling about this girl, she's radiating light, her posts are so filled with wisdom, and what she's talking about are things that I'm feeling, and right there and then I decided to reach out to her, we scheduled a call, and she could have told me any price, because I knew that this investment was for me, and that I was worth an investment into my health, and energetic health is so, so, so important, when you heal energetically, you heal physically, and you heal mentally, and I wanted to give her all my money, I was like, I wish I could give you more, I'm so excited to start this journey, and stepping into that space, even though it was my last dime, I don't care, I have no shame, it was Penny Wells Bend, let me tell you, but even though it did leave me with some uncertainties, I had no doubt in my mind that this was meant for me, because it showed up for me, and because I've been prepping myself to receive beautiful energy, and to meet and be in contact with beautiful people, so I knew as soon as I saw her, and knowing her, she was hosting a retreat, and it was actually her retreat, so through her, I met these beautiful individuals, who I'll keep in my life forever, I have no doubt, and yeah, don't sleep on these opportunities, my friends, if you meet somebody, and you like their energy, let them know, and heal with them, go through this with them, you don't have to go through this alone, and again, if it's me, hit me up, I am here, I am happy to serve, I am happy to be a facilitator, and on this last, last, last note, I do want to mention that one of my best friends of mine, my best friend, actually, I can't even lie, she is my girl, she asked me to do, well, I offered, to record a meditation for her, to help her get over her fear of flying, so she wanted something that would just keep her calm, cool, and collected, as she had an 8 hour plane ride overseas to Europe, and I was like, oh my friend, I would be honored to provide such healing energy into your life, thank you, thank you for this opportunity, so I recorded it for her, it was a good 45 minute meditation, it included words of affirmation, to boost confidence, and to keep her calm, and at peace, it included breath work, to calm the body, and it included a deep, deep chakra cleanse, where we talked about the chakras, tapped into the energy that lives there, and it just really created a bubble of positivity and light around her, and when she landed, she said it was everything that she needed, and that she was so, so thankful and so grateful, and yeah, I was happy to do so, so I just wanted to extend that offer to you, I'm happy to create anything that is specifically for you, to help you along this journey, because if you're going to take away anything from this, please remember, you are not alone, and you are so loved, and with that, I will see you next time my friend, bye for now.