food wizardry

uh... uh... okay you know uh... yes yes yes this is not too this is very close to something that might have happened right yeah go on oh yeah? well that could have happened multiple times so uh... you know it's totally not a uh... are you sure this is a dream? are you sure we didn't just like hallucinate this uh... this part of history? like like a hallucinated it away you know like it just it just like faded but it actually happened well no no exactly to my knowledge me neither but maybe at some point we did this it happened and it was like it was such a traumatic experience that like for me that i couldn't get out of that i was like listen to tong you wanna just go to the voodoo priest and have this part of our memory knocked out okay i'm glad this is how you figured it out uh... yeah yeah yeah yeah and a week just a week prior the antelope had said that no lion shall eat me for i am uneatable by all lions yeah yeah a little bit of irony well that's funny because um i also had a dream of you no i'm kidding i didn't have a dream of you this week the only dream i had was of lebron james no no no no no it's a long story i don't know if i want to mention this it's a very long story no it's not a long story it's just weird anyway uh... do you have another topic for today elf i'm just going to babble on about this dream i had well we'll probably get derailed what's your topic for today i know man uh okay well sure um i feel how do i why do i feel like i'm about to be like tortured all right we can do that i'm just cleaning gunk off my controller no i don't like the fact that there's gunk on my controller in the first place i'd feel more fulfilled if there wasn't any the buddhist act of cleaning sure oh yeah in general uh oh yeah it's like cutting your lawn trimming your lawn with scissors with scissors uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh yeah and i can i can be yeah i can be buddhist i can see that i've i've i've you know this isn't too far off of the book yeah sure i can see that i just have to buy a couple of those beads they like fiddle between your fingers it's all about the beads it's about the drip that the religion comes with it's like um it's like all those games where if you if you basically if you align yourself with some religion you gotta get some pretty cool merch or like outfits you know you unlock a special set of outfits to show that you're with that religion it's like i get i i get the i get the what is it called the vatarsana set or like you know or the nirvana set or something and it what oh right yeah yeah yeah um what was i saying oh yeah you get some cool set which is like you know you get the baltesvata set or like the you know whatever it's it's restricted to this religion and the best part is the female version of this outfit or set that you get is like it it shows too much skin right it's showing a little bit too much skin but i mean you'd expect that from the from this video game you know what i mean you know what i mean right yeah yeah you know what i mean yeah yeah it's like it's like that oh yeah yeah probably okay i need like i need to bind a button which just automatically slaps discord and tells it to go back to snowball yes hi yes it was probably 9-11 actually oh but in my heart it was it's been the last 10 years it was last year for me every year every every time it's september the 11th i think back yeah well my one is quite personal but i imagine other people would pick things like corona or uh or uh i don't know graduating i think that would be a nice one it's funny actually because corona didn't affect me that much maybe partly because i was a student um it's because i'm trying to divert you away from my actual absence yeah um yeah probably uh living in japan for a while that was pretty huge yeah i told you this right the apartment i had there was like geographically in a great position like the main the city i lived in like the main street or the most how do you call it the commercial center of the city is along the coastline of the bay of tokyo so it's this one long street kind of one one area where all the tall buildings and skyscrapers and other things are right well there's only really like three skyscrapers in that in yokohama but my apartment was a five minute walk from that street which is insane because the neighborhood is just uh you know like quaint japanese village kind of stuff but then as soon as you cross this like specific threshold there's like this one street where if you walk to the other side it suddenly goes from like quaint little village to like commercial downtown like tokyo level stuff so while i was there like every fucking day well after once i discovered this like a month in every day after work if i had time i just walked to so i wasn't playing i wasn't playing dota there or anything either so i just i just walked to the to the bayside like every night basically also i wasn't cooking at home and the most of the restaurants were there so it'd be like after work and i just uh yeah eventually i just like yeah so it'd be after work and i just walk there and i just spend like an hour or two on the bayside eventually i just stopped taking trains altogether i just started walking everywhere yeah that was really nice because that was the type of landscape scenery that i liked the most and it was just five minutes from my house so that was perfect so really yes sir yes sir it was six months yes i'm gonna snap the decision yeah i just wanted to see how it was or actually okay didn't really intend to live there for very long but i did want to go there at some point to live a little bit i was always in the works and i was kind of like oh i can do it now sure let's do it so i went there for six months the work was kind of chill it wasn't too like i didn't get overworked basically so there's a lot of i got a lot of independence from my professor so uh after work i just spent my time walking like i said around the city basically any context i'm missing let's see right so i don't know i think like a cool country uh to live in like china but less less uh less communist you might want to cut that out actually i don't want to be like you know just like bleep just put a really obnoxious bleep there i don't know why i said that word yeah no it's a yeah how about the opposite i approached it from the wrong angle it's like it's like a it's like china but more western western friendly um uh i guess maybe i meant uh like it's more popular in the western eye it's not a great description um it's very icky because there's a lot of people yeah actually it's the same in japan it's not really a great descriptor is it i think it's possibly because we've both lived in china or i've lived in china for long enough and uh i want to see a different type of asian megacity which also applies to korea as well and also singapore also singapore singapore is a really good one as well that was part of the reason yes very good very very good also uh it was on the same level as japan it was either it's gonna be japan or singapore and i didn't get the job offer in singapore so i went to japan uh actually singapore also a really good one it has the the whole city is like constructed really or the center of the city is constructed really nicely has like uh you know that really famous hotel which is like three skyscrapers of a thing like a surfboard on top yeah that that building is not only constructed really well but placed really well because the city is a half crescent basically as you expect like looking into the sea kind of thing so instead of instead of that just being empty they were like okay so this this place where like you're supposed to be looking into the sea let's put our most prestigious hotel there so it's a half crescent hotel with sorry half crescent city like like i think i think it's a river in the middle uh and then like facing into this hotel behind which is the sea no because it's expensive i think it is i think it was uh no oh where's japan yes possibly i think so it was a while ago but the food courts there i think i think the food there is probably the food courts there are probably the best i've had in the world i haven't been to that many food courts is it's like the basement of of like a mall if you go into a mall and you look all the way down yeah the mall is huge right usually and they usually go until like like the ground floor and then the ground floor is this you can look down i mean like you can look down until the ground floor and the ground floor has like just normal shops and stuff but there's a mall in singapore a couple of them actually uh okay how about we just describe the one the one at the foot of this of the the iconic hotel you can like look all the way down into the basement and the entire basement floor is just all food court it's all lined with stalls and the stall sizes are pretty small as well so you can imagine how many they fit in there and the entire center is just all eating area very nice very very good also and yeah and the main thing where singapore is better than most places in this case is the fact that it's uh got cuisine from like all the major asian countries in those food courts because they also have people from all major asian countries living there also the crab in singapore is great really really good crab they have the what is it called the black pepper crab it just tastes very nice you have to crack it yourself but the this mission also know that uh in for chinese people this kind of food is is great so the food where you have to fiddle around a little lot is is very very popular to the chinese populace as it is with me as well it's just that black pepper like no not not on the out no not on the outside it just looks like a normal crab but they cooked it in some way where it tastes like it's it's got a black pepper kick to it which makes it great does black pepper dissolve in water or not actually no googling it it's not the sauce yeah okay i think there's a bit of black pepper on the shell now that i google it no no no what the hell get rid of the black pepper bro it serves its purpose the crab meat's already infused well there's no sauce in this one this is just literally they fried it with black pepper yeah i think yeah yeah yeah i mean you've already you've already set yourself up for a hot take asking me this kind of question the first question i have and the only question i think i have is does the nutritional value change or is it just gruel am i just eat am i just getting oats like gruel nutrition it gives you it gives me everything right okay i'll be okay with it most of the time i mean that's what it is anyway that's what it is anyway like 70% of it well i'm a very effects focused right i'm a very effects focused person and to the end the effect here is that i get the sensation of eating an amazing meal so that sounds good to me and i also get the nutrition but obviously i'd like to have some real food once in a while where a wizard isn't tinkering tinkering with my brain to get me this amazing culinary experience something like that once in a while no no the point is i'm not bothered by it but once what do you mean it's food from now on no one's cooking anymore it's just only gruel all food is put into a nutrient processor which breaks it down to its fundamental components and out comes this gruel right so instead of if you go to the doctor for a stomach ache complaint or something instead of giving you medicine they get a new food wizard your food wizard isn't good enough right yeah now it's not really the same thing is it because massage is kind of a luxury you don't need it but food is very fundamental to the effect that if you use bad flavor you don't want to eat food flavor sure okay i can buy that so what are we saying your food tastes terrible your gruel tastes terrible have you tried getting a better food wizard i know a good one from the wizard app i mean yeah i can see that yeah i can imagine other people might nay say such a feature but i'm up for it why not i mean we were talking the other day with a couple of people at work how the dutch sandwich cuisine is just like so stupidly bland compared to other cuisines but it is adopted because it's so efficient you just eat a couple of sandwiches for lunch and it takes like 10 minutes to prepare and eat and then you're on with your day right this is gruel future gruel future is just one step further from this well you need the food wizard how is that food wizardry no no but we're this is gruel everything is gruel there's no sandwiches right that's the situation surely as they should so in this intermediary period the first batch of food wizards trained their craft by enchanting taste into base food such as sandwich such as sandwich bread and porridge yeah yeah right so this is transition period where the food industry is not revolting by the way they're just buying time for themselves to find a way to monetize gruel and after they've found a way to monetize gruel and also the food wizard industry what happened sure and then okay so so okay yeah okay so for the sake of our discussion here let's just say that there is conversion people have accepted eventually that it is better sure and then so it's like preparing kimchi and stuff but without any of the effort while also not eating the kimchi that one might be different though because we said the gruel is some base nutritional paste but any fermented foods might have some micro microbacterial benefit to your gut like microbiome so maybe in this future everyone has terrible guts for a period of time before they and then the food companies find out the solution they sell gruel and gruel ferment or gruel microculture or actually no that doesn't sound very good gruel guts friend that's the one yeah so you can buy gruel or gruel guts friend and then and then you have and then you split the ranks of the food wizards those who specialize in normal food and those who specialize in fermented foods and then you oh but I'm thinking about this from the oh wait no they just projected into the brain that's it only brain projection okay well then the division happens elsewhere surely instead of being divided amongst sorry like between normal foods and fermented foods maybe the division is for food wizards of age for people of age 10 or younger 10 to 20 and then 20 to 50 because angry mothers would be like I wouldn't want my food wizard to mess with my child in their very important growth phase and then the guild of food wizards says ah but this is correct but we have studies that show and not peer-reviewed obviously we have studies that showed show that food wizardry might have an effect on child growth so we have a special branch of food wizards that make sure they don't do any tinkering with your child because this is another point I wanted to mention food wizards tinker with your brain directly right but how do you trust them to not have this is the whole this is like data privacy how do you how do you trust them not to do some other stuff while they're in your brain oh you want to get rid of the cataracts yeah sure okay but that but LASIK is very specific but food is a very fundamental need and you said that in the future that you know food magicians are everywhere and this is a problem because LASIK is only a small subset of the population so the specialist circle is also very small right where you can keep that trust within it but if everyone has a food magician you have to imagine that in some slum in Brazil you're not getting the same food licensed food magician as you are in the streets of like Washington DC or something precisely and then there you therein lies an issue therein lies an issue or are we saying that the slums of Brazil don't get gruel with food magicians is this the new savvy thing is it like chocolate it starts top down you know the royalty aka the upper class start with food magicians they make it in trend yeah well that's even worse yeah well that's even worse because then you have people who are like they're gonna riot how come only the food wizards get to eat these real foods oh because we have to project it into your brain well that's not fair I want to eat real foods as well that's a bigger problem as well doesn't he do exactly that doesn't he do what oh jeez that's him having like no but he travels the world eating you know North Atlantic king crab right from the river you know right from under the ice or like a king salmon you know taken straight from the ocean or like oysters harvested right from the sea but this is what we're talking about is everyone has to eat like gruel there's nothing else and the few people who have access to real foods and can eat them are the food wizards in training yeah actually not just protests then you have this wave of like goons going into food wizardry school just to taste the actual foods and then once they have their fill they just I never wanted to be a food wizard I'm just here to eat the foods eat the real foods you know and then this is like you know crazy structure that happens in society ah okay when the food wizard when the food wizard yeah splashes onto my shirt splashes onto my shirt a little bit oh yeah that's so good well okay first of all I mean the Michelin 3 star rating is also like the difference between the 2 and the 3 star is the service right so okay yeah I guess you could split food wizard ranks into that right maybe the 3 star wizards won't splash gruel onto the front of your shirt that's fine yeah yeah yeah yeah this is yeah yeah if the food wizards are willing to do it for that cheap sure we don't know what kind of mental toll it takes on the food wizards maybe they want more compensation for like their one hour of experience that's true that's true I imagine I mean who would join the food wizard ranks it would be the underpaid sorry the disgruntled line cooks and also like farmers all the mom chefs in the world when you mean all the mom chefs in the world all the mom chefs in the world when you mean all the mom chefs in the world well then we need to consider another question which is is it I mean how does it work is it channeled or is it like one off you know does the mom just beam the flavor into the into your brain with the first bite and then just go carry on with her day or does she have to sit there like while you shovel food in your mouth and if her concentration breaks but for a second you suddenly taste the slop for what it truly is oh this is terrible oh my god mom come on oh my god oh I was having a moment there you just oh no come on you gotta keep okay so like you ladle some sauce onto your food like that so it's just done okay but that in and of itself raises yet another issue which is if it's so easy to project the flavor then it becomes like an elite guild right so you don't have that many food wizards because the amount of effort to project the food is very little so you have restaurants that end up being like canteens right so you have restaurants that end up being like canteens right so you have restaurants that end up being like canteens right so you have restaurants that end up being like canteens and the one food wizard comes out at 5 o'clock on the dot on his skateboard or something and just projects blasts everyone in the canteen with the flavor and then goes back into his you know those like antique grandfather clocks where on the hour you have puppets come out of their little door and then they do their little dance and then go back in that's the food wizards but the funny thing is it's an issue because there's only like 5 food wizards for a city of population of like 100,000 or something okay that's too little yeah then how long does this canteen have to be? it would be like a stadium they pack the surface area of the stadium with tables and they just ladle out and then the one food wizard does his skateboard rounds between each row and serves the better half of 10,000 people within one night okay yeah yeah that's fine yeah yeah yeah low entry bar well let's say it's a low entry bar the burger food wizard can learn his craft quite easily as well but it takes it's low entry bar but high mastery right but then now we get into another discussion which is amplification of signal right is it one-to-one all the time or can I just put this food wizard in front of this massive vuvuzela like this massive cone and he just into the whole stadium of people oh no no not through the youtube right he has to be there physically there's some sort of electro yeah the signal loss which is why you need to put him in front of like two cones right two big cones and he's and he's beaming the flavor it's terrible oh my god yeah and then and then you have wait that's good because then there's another industry that's created by this which is the food signal design engineers it's like the soundwave engineers you know when they design home cinemas so they don't have like they design like it's a it's a food signal design engineers it's like the soundwave engineers you know when they design home cinemas so they don't have like they design like it's so that you don't have like destructive interference where you're sitting it's like that they design food wizardry canteens where there is no like loss of signal from the food wizard like if okay if mr. food wizard is positioned right here then if then this the shape of this room means that no flavor loss will occur yeah yeah it's a real science yeah and then and then you get restaurants or I guess we need a new word what do we canteen is too dirty we need a new word for like the food wizard dispensaries so you have these dispensaries where it's like like there's clearly higher quality because they bought in the engineers they bought in the food wizardry engineers they have the thousand year recipes you know they did the they did the astral communion where five grandmothers projected their recipes into one dude so they have five family lines worth of recipes in Cajun cuisine Asian cuisine African cuisine etc and those are the clearly superior restaurants there's a there's a you know there's an eater's choice whereas you have mr. burger food wizard down the street who just gets by with the local community yeah I can see that yeah it's quadrupled in price because of not just inflation but also food wizardry yeah yeah and then I I'm all polite to the shopkeeper who is going on blabbering on about how he's going out of business because of the increased popularity of food wizardry and I listen you know politely and nod along with him and as I as I go out the door and I say thank you for my for the meal and you think to yourself I'm never coming back here again because I played triple the price that I would have been a food wizardry spot and what did I get? All I got was the owner just blabbering on about his his malaises to me well no no no no this is the three star this is the three star gruel dispensary right by the way instead of Michelin stars which is a travel company we need another company to give out these stars which is relevant to the type of food Viacom or the Vodafone the Vodafone three star restaurant well I'm I'm assuming the new Michelin the Michelin CEO is not he's not he's too old guard you know he doesn't like this new industry so he doesn't hop onto the train fast enough the new Viacom CEO is a genius and he sees the industry for what it truly is anyway so we go to this Viacom three star dispensary and they have some measure assumedly against the splattering of the gruel so I don't get splattered but I would probably want this this conversation I would probably want to be like yeah I want to talk to the chef once in a while ladles what I'm eating burgers oh oh right yeah sure yeah that's kind of weird that's really don't you think it's kind of weird you're trying to have a conversation with the guy while he's like you don't have a conversation with your surgeon as you're tinkering with the inside of your brain I mean it's not like anesthesia is the problem I don't want to talk to the guy tinkering in my actually I mean they talk to me regardless anyway yeah but that's personal that's on the outside of my body right you're tinkering you're like you're touching my insides and you want to talk to me like bro but okay that would be a great conversation yeah so how's your day oh by the way check this out you're gonna love this oh yeah yeah that was really good yeah yeah so no no I had a great day yeah no no no it's no it's onto the brain right because if it's onto the gruel we have a whole different set of problems but you we said it was just into the brain oh but no no no but it's like it's like it's like it's like overrides all your taste buds it's like rewires them you know so so you need to have some gruel like it's like oh it's like it's like if if if gruel and food wizardry produce flavor is the statement okay okay no but in this yeah in this case it's like you know oh yeah okay so it's Viacom or or no it would be like the three-star Viacom thing would be like there's five people in this like like room and it's like a show but kind of intimate because we're all having a nice conversation with each other it's like the it's like those sushi chefs in Tokyo yeah it's like the three-star sushi chef where it's like oh I can I can only have ten people a day you know kind of thing yeah the food wizard only has five people because he can only hold the attention of five people too many actually already but still we gotta get somewhere so five people sure yeah yeah yeah I wouldn't understand their craft it seems such a such a long time to master and you also need an astral communion of five grannies to give you all their recipes yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah 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yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah a van is a type of big car that can, that still I don't know, what if you know, we gotta be thorough on this one a van is exactly yeah exactly we've lost that one a while ago but a van a van is a car that can hold up to 12 people that 12 falls under the license of a normal driving license, if it has more than 12 people you need to get a special license I think or you, no, with 13 people you need a special van, uh, license or maybe it is 12 people that you need a special license, I, I, okay whatever nevermind, just ignore this, this is terribly unsubstantiated numbers the point is at some point it becomes too big alright, and a van is I'm thinking like maybe, okay, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 maybe it seats 7 people right, that kind of van, that's what I'm thinking of, see, clarification, that's pretty good uh, no can we leave that for next episode? mail us your minibus yeah, minibus opinions to yeah stop flirting, end it end it, end it I'm sending this